Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is believed that all aged-people should have minimum one hobby for some entertainment and provide relaxation. In my opinion, it helps to generate some innovative ideas and protect them from negative thoughts.
Initally, people are busy in their daily lifestyle schedule and hardly find time for theirselves.There routine is normal and totally same the way they started, in this situaton they get bored and tired easily. It is true that when people do the work in which they really enjoying gives them more satisfaction and provide internal happiness. This would help to solve the work problem easily.
Secondly, children age is a learning age and if their parents help to drawn into new hobby which will give them joy. It is true that children usually don't like to complete their homework and visit to school, and the teachers often play with them to distarct the child'smind so that they can happily complete their homework shortlly. Meanwhile, the children put best efforts to complete it. The hobby plays the role as same, when children creates a new hobby, they prefer to do it and their mentally health become stronger.This is the reason why people argues that a hobby is great for children.
In conclusion,in retirment age, when people feel isolated and hardly find someone to play with them, a habit of hobby gives some relaxation and calm.At the same time, children feel ease and energetic after spending time on hobby. In short, it gives people a new spirit to enjoy again.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of hobbies for different age groups. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you mention working people and children, the discussion on the retired is relegated to the conclusion rather than being a fully developed body paragraph. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments, particularly regarding children and schoolwork, are slightly tangential and could be more focused on the intrinsic value of hobbies rather than their role in completing homework. To reach a higher band, ensure each group mentioned in the prompt receives balanced and detailed attention in its own paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Initally' is used to start the second paragraph, but it does not logically follow the introduction. There are also issues with referencing; 'the children put best efforts' and 'the hobby plays the role as same' are somewhat awkward and disrupt the flow of ideas. While there is an overall progression, the transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the logical connection between sentences could be strengthened by using a wider variety of linking words more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choice or incorrect collocations, such as 'aged-people' instead of 'the elderly' or 'senior citizens', and 'drawn into new hobby' instead of 'encouraged to take up a new hobby'. Some phrases are repetitive, and the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations and using more sophisticated synonyms to express your ideas more clearly and naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. Frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, such as 'There routine is normal' (should be 'Their'), 'in this situaton' (spelling), and 'children creates a new hobby' (subject-verb agreement), occur throughout the text. Additionally, sentence construction is often clunky, such as 'It is true that when people do the work in which they really enjoying gives them more satisfaction'. These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Increasing the variety of complex structures while focusing on basic grammatical accuracy will help improve this score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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