Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is often argue that, children, adults, and the retired to have at least one hobby in their day to day life. After careful consideration, I agree with the given topic because having hobbies helps an individuals to learn new skills, get relief from stress, increase their focus and get closer to love ones.
Firstly, having a hobby helps students and adults to learn new skills other than their daily task. In other words, student can get more knowledge through reading as a hobby, whereas, adults can perform hobbies such as, learning new skills, tracking and exercise, which helps them physically and mentally. To cite an example, it is proven that a person who do some kind of hobby out of their work, perform very well at work place. Moreover, having physical activity as a hobby helps the retired person to remain fit at that age.
Secondly, extra curriculum activity become a mode for an individuals to get break from their work place and use that time for their leisure activity. For example, cooperate worker fulfil their hobby during their break and enjoy doing activities such as, sports, exercise, and travel with their friend and family. Additionally, having at least one hobby will help grandparents to have a sense of leaving their life at that age.
In conclusion, not only having hobbies are important for children and young adults, retired adults should also need to have at least one extra curriculum activity to enjoy their life. Moreover, hobby helps all generation to get relief from stress, and helps them to learn new skills as well.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating an opinion in the introduction and maintaining it throughout. The ideas are relevant, covering benefits such as skill acquisition, stress relief, and social connection. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the mention of 'tracking' as a hobby is vague, and the explanation of how hobbies help the retired is a bit superficial. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific, illustrative examples rather than general statements. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly explored to demonstrate a more sophisticated level of critical thinking.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'In other words', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some of these transitions feel mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'extra curriculum activity become a mode'. While the overall progression is coherent, the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, and the connection between sentences could be smoother to avoid a repetitive structure. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used naturally would enhance the overall cohesion of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'careful consideration', 'physically and mentally', and 'leisure activity'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'cooperate worker' (likely meaning 'corporate worker') and 'sense of leaving their life' (likely meaning 'sense of purpose in their life'). The phrase 'extra curriculum activity' is also used incorrectly in this context, as it usually refers to school-based activities. To improve, focus on learning the correct collocations and refining your word choice to ensure your meaning is conveyed with greater precision and naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('It is often argue that', 'a person who do some kind of hobby'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing ('retired to have at least one hobby'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are unnecessary commas, such as in 'hobbies such as, learning new skills'. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentence structures are grammatically sound. Reducing these frequent errors will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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