Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Now a days , it is necessary for juveniles and youngsters and also for the individuals who are doing jobs and the individuals retired for having at least one hobby In my believe it is vital for everyone aged person to have a hobby.
To begin with, in my words having hobby plays an important role in everyone's life because it help the individuals to relax and soothing their mind. Moreover, everybody is busy and following a hectic schedule so from getting out of that everyone should have a hobby. Sometime if they started and taking hobby as their skill they will help the person to build their career in that field.
Furthermore, having a hobby can reduce your screentime that I think is very benifical for every aged person Nowadays every person is wasting time by scrolling reels that can cause major effect on our eyes so having hobby can be a best opinion that develop skills and build confidence and
To cap it up, Leisure time activity is essential in every aged person's life that helps to relax the mind, build career and reduce the phone time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 189 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address the prompt by discussing the benefits of hobbies for different age groups, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack sufficient detail or specific examples. For instance, you mention that hobbies can help build a career, but you do not explain how or provide a concrete example. To improve, you must expand your points with clear explanations and illustrative examples to ensure the response is fully developed and meets the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical. While you use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with' and 'Furthermore', the transitions between sentences are occasionally abrupt. The final sentence of the second paragraph is incomplete, which disrupts the flow of the argument. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph contains a fully developed, coherent thought that connects logically to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'every aged person' and 'having a hobby'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'soothing their mind' instead of 'relaxing the mind' or 'relieving stress'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms and topic-specific vocabulary related to personal development and leisure. Avoid informal phrasing like 'scrolling reels' and aim for more academic alternatives to enhance the overall tone of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('it help the individuals'), incorrect preposition usage ('In my believe'), and awkward phrasing ('for having at least one hobby'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing full stops and commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like article usage and verb forms. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while maintaining accuracy will help you reach a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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