Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Recently, the most of the people prefer to spend their time by using smartphones, Laptop and socialmedia rather than spending time together with family this somehow impact on their physical and mental health. As tecnological advancement is inclining people are get used to it and offer their pericious time by spending on it. This problem can be solved by fousing on physical and mental health.
Although imperatively grown tecnological advancement ehnance living of standard, people get used to it and neglect their health whether its mental or physical. For example, parents introduce their children to smartphoes in their younger age due to that they get addicted to it and forget to pay attention to their studies this leads to poor health. Eventhough wide-spread socialmedia helps different cultures to connect and bring them together, however adults get infuenced by it, reduce their focus on studies and unknowing consequences of it.
This problem can be solved by two solutions, Firstly parents' should encourage their children to involve in physical activites including outdoor and indoor games in younger age. Secondly goverment authorites should ban smartphoes in schools
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The student attempts to address the prompt regarding the importance of having a hobby, linking it to modern technology and offering solutions like physical activities and school bans. However, the response falls significantly short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 184 words. Because of this severe under-length, the task is only partially addressed, and the ideas remain underdeveloped and lack sufficient support or examples from personal knowledge. The position is stated but not fully explored. Consequently, Task Achievement is heavily penalised for length and lack of development, fitting into the Band 4 descriptor.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response shows some logical organisation with basic cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'For example', and 'Firstly'. However, paragraphing is problematic, with the second paragraph being extremely long and dense, and the concluding solutions abruptly split into brief, unpunctuated fragments. Referencing is sometimes unclear, for instance, when pronouns like 'it' refer ambiguously back to technological advancement or smartphones. Progression is disjointed due to the lack of clear transitional links between sentences. Overall, the structure reflects a mechanical and faulty arrangement of ideas, placing it firmly at Band 5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate to convey basic concepts related to technology and health, featuring words like 'advancement', 'addicted', and 'socialmedia'. However, there are numerous spelling and word choice errors, such as 'tecnological', 'ehnance', 'pericious', 'fousing', 'smartphoes', and 'goverment'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary ('imperatively grown', 'unknowing consequences'), but these usages are awkward and inaccurate. The range is limited and noticeable errors occasionally impede comprehension, aligning with a Band 5 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, using conjunctions like 'Although' and 'Even though'. However, grammatical control is weak throughout the text. There are numerous run-on sentences and punctuation errors, such as missing periods at the ends of sentences ('Secondly goverment authorites should ban smartphoes in schools'). Grammatical errors are frequent, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'parents' should encourage' and incorrect prepositional usage ('spend their time by using'). These errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 5 criteria.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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