Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This is an emerging topic these days to whether it is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have atleast one hobby or not. In this essay I will examine this topic in both point of views and explain why I believe that it is important to have hobbies for people of all age.
The people often believe that the benefits of having atleast one hobby is important , considerably outweigh its disadvantages. They often argue about the improvement of mental health and the physical benefits of hobbies. It is possible to say that hobbies keep people busy and elevate their mood. Moreover, the satisfaction of completing a task gives the dopamine rush in body. Dopamine is a happy hormone, which plays a crucial role in human body which releases after excitement and maintains focus. A good illustration of this, whenever I start reading book in my free time, my brain feel relaxes in few seconds.
On the other hand, other argued about not having hobbies. If children, young adults, working people and the retired ones do not possess any hobby they will be waiting theirselves. Furthmore, The retired people can be seen bed bound mostly. The reduced physical activity can cause them cardiac risks and other health hazards. Likewise, the children and people of other age, mostly stay busy in their daily routines. This rat race is making them mentally retarded and tired. A particular example of this are people with psychological issue like stress and depression.
In conclusion, as per my opinion It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing the importance of hobbies across various age groups, including children, young adults, working people, and the retired, and clearly states the writer's position. Ideas are generally relevant, such as discussing mental health benefits, the release of dopamine, and the physical risks of inactivity. However, some arguments lack full development and depth. For instance, the discussion on dopamine and the negative effects of lacking a hobby tend to over-generalise and drift slightly into colloquial phrasing, such as 'mental retarded and tired'. While a clear stance is maintained throughout, the supporting evidence relies more on broad claims than fully articulated examples, placing this response comfortably at Band 6.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised to separate the opposing viewpoints and the writer's perspective. However, cohesion at the sentence level is occasionally faulty or mechanical. Transition phrases like 'Moreover', 'A good illustration of this', and 'Furthmore' are used, but referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'other argued about not having hobbies' or pronoun confusion like 'waiting theirselves' instead of wasting their time. Logical progression between sentences can be disjointed, detracting from the flow and resulting in a Band 6 performance for cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'substantially', 'psychological issue', and 'cardiac risks'. However, there are noticeable spelling, word-choice, and collocation errors that hinder precision. Examples include 'atleast' (at least), 'reading book' (reading books), 'feel relaxes' (feels relaxed), 'waiting theirselves' (wasting their time), and an inappropriate use of 'mental retarded'. These inaccuracies show an inconsistent control of lexical features, aligning best with the Band 5 descriptor where errors cause some difficulty for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses ('Dopamine is a happy hormone, which plays a crucial role...') and conditional structures. However, there is a high frequency of grammatical and mechanical errors throughout the essay. Examples of errors include prepositions and articles ('to whether it is', 'in body'), subject-verb agreement ('my brain feel relaxes'), and spelling ('Furthmore'). While meaning is generally conveyed, the frequency of errors prevents the control expected at Band 6, placing the grammar score at Band 5 due to frequent errors that impact readability.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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