Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The rapid growth of crime amoung the youth is increasing day by day in modren society . The reason can be depended on alot of factors, such as getting influence by social media, While this can be over come by giving them proper guidence by there parents and effective education system can help to over come that .
One primary cause for the voilence is lacking in tacking care of there childerns . In the nuclear family both the mother and father are working profationaly for the coprates . They are not getting time to look over there child and not giveing them the proper support or not giving them the life leassons. While living in the soctiey the youth can be influence by other peoples living next to there scoity or using social media and getting attracted toword there thing like money,clothes,cars and many more. So for full filling them they are using the short cuts for making eassy money they are cometing crime .
The two effective way to stop the youth from cometing crime can . The goverment should provide them effective education system to stop over youth to be geeting intio the world of crime . Schools should incourage youth to particpate in sports and make some activitys that can stop cometing voilence among each othere in early age . Secondly, parents how are working 9 to 5 they should spend more time with there childerns and
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to discuss the prompt concerning hobbies and crime, but it shifts focus toward youth crime rather than directly addressing the importance of having hobbies for all age groups as stated in the prompt. Furthermore, the length requirement of 250 words is not met, as the text contains only 241 words and trails off unfinished at the end. Ideas are introduced regarding parental guidance and education, but they remain under-developed and lack extension. Consequently, the task is addressed only partially, which aligns with the Band 5 descriptor.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay displays some overall organization into paragraphs, attempting an introduction and body paragraphs. However, there is no clear logical progression, and the final paragraph cuts off mid-sentence. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively (e.g., repeating phrases like 'to over come that' and 'childerns'). Paragraphing is attempted, but the incomplete concluding thought disrupts the structural flow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly with pronoun usage. This performance fits the Band 5 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary range is limited and minimally adequate. There are frequent spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, such as 'amoung' instead of among, 'modren' instead of modern, 'guidence' instead of guidance, 'profationaly' instead of professionally, and 'childerns' instead of children. These errors and non-standard word formations (e.g., 'full filling') cause noticeable strain and difficulty for the reader, which corresponds directly to the Band 4 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but many of these attempts are faulty. There are persistent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'The reason can be depended on alot of factors'). Punctuation is also problematic, and sentences frequently contain multiple structural errors that impede fluent reading and communication. This places the response firmly within the Band 4 category for grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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