Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is pertinent for every one to have a hobby although they are retired, or still working, and for the children and young adults.
In my opinion, it is particularly important to have some kind of hobby because it has many positive effects on mental and physical wellbeing. First of all, it triggers the brain to produce happy hormone serotonine and endorphines, these hormones make us feel happy. Another benefit is that it keeps us busy in productive way. There are many types of hobbies some people like gardening, others like reading and painting. Categorically, discussing it is exclusively important to have some kind of hobby in this digital era, because now people are more busy in their gadgets rather than other outdoor activities. This prolong sitting make them lazy and causes many health issues. Therefore a good hobby can have significant effects to reduce the chances of illness and it gives the peace of mind. On the other hand some hobbies can become the appropriate sources of income for instance, painting, fashion designing, embroidery, sketching, and other forms of artwork. Furthermore, hobbies reduce the stress level that is very important in this contemporary age where every one is indulged in some problems. It is particularly important for retired people to remain busy in reading or educating other people. So that, they feel valued and respectful all the time of their retirement.
To recapitulate, It is of utmost importance to have a hobby for everyone for healthy lifestyle and mental wellbeing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The candidate addresses all parts of the prompt, expressing a clear opinion that having a hobby is important for all age groups, including children, young adults, working people, and retirees. The position is maintained throughout the essay. Main ideas are presented, such as mental and physical wellbeing, reducing stress, and potential income generation. However, some ideas lack full extension and suffer from generalisation. For instance, the mention of retired people 'educating other people' is a bit brief and could have been supported with a clearer example. Nevertheless, the response covers the core requirements well and presents a coherent stance, aligning comfortably with Band 6.5 to 7.0 descriptors. Awarded a Band 6.5 for some under-development of supporting details.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays a generally coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the body of the essay is compressed into one large, dense paragraph, which limits the effective use of paragraphing. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'First of all', 'Another benefit', 'Furthermore', and 'To recapitulate', but referencing and linking within the main body can feel slightly mechanical or abrupt, as seen in 'Categorically, discussing it is exclusively important...' and 'Therefore a good hobby...'. Clearer paragraph breaks separating the benefits to health, financial aspects, and retirement would significantly improve the structural flow. This performance fits the Band 6 descriptor well.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'wellbeing', 'contemporary age', 'indulged', and 'pertinent'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'every one' instead of 'everyone', spelling errors like 'serotonine', 'endorphines', and 'prolong sitting' instead of 'prolonged sitting'. Furthermore, phrases like 'more busy in their gadgets' are unnatural and imprecise. While communication is not impeded and the writer clearly expresses their ideas, the frequency of lexical slips and awkward phrasing prevents the response from reaching a higher band. This is a solid Band 6 performance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional-like ideas (e.g., 'although they are retired, or still working, and for the children and young adults'). Grammatical control is variable. There are several punctuation and structural errors, such as comma splices and awkward phrasing ('It is pertinent for every one to have a hobby although they are retired...'). Fragmented or run-on structures also appear, such as 'So that, they feel valued...'. Despite these frequent minor errors and punctuation lapses, the meaning remains discernible, and the student successfully produces some error-free clauses. This aligns well with the Band 6 criteria for grammatical range and accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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