Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I firmly believe that children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby throughout their life to keep themselves physically and mentally active.

To begin with, people are often so busy in their education and professional life, neglecting their hobby as a priority. Moreover, they can develop one hobby of a sport which they can perform in their neighborhood or at sport facility to keep themselves physically fit. For example, they can play baseball with their friends and families that keep their mind out of work and increase productivity with fresher mind.

It is undeniable that retire people feels difficult to perform any kind of thrilling and adventurous activity at older age. So, they can enhance their hobby in reading different kind of books, which keep them mentally active and stayed focused for longer period of time. They can also share that knowledge to their nephews and it could be beneficial for them in their upcoming life. For instance, reading books of their country's history and about moral ethics can be useful information to share with someone.

In conclusion, to keep at least one hobby is good way to keep yourself active and spend some quality of time by doing this things you like will keep your mind and body fresh for education and professional work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

First, it is important to note that the length requirement is NOT met, as the response contains only 207 words (excluding 14 words copied from the prompt), falling 43 words short of the 250-word minimum. The response addresses the task only partially. While the student attempts to discuss different groups of people such as working people and the retired, the position is not always clearly sustained throughout the essay. Ideas are somewhat limited and under-developed, particularly in the conclusion and body paragraphs where examples lack sufficient elaboration. For instance, mentioning that retired people can read books about history is a relevant point, but it remains basic and lacks the extended explanation needed for a higher band. To improve, the writer must ensure the length requirement is fully satisfied and develop each main idea more thoroughly with detailed explanations and relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some basic organisation in the response, featuring an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are sometimes inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive. For example, the writer relies on transitional phrases like 'To begin with' and 'Moreover', but the logical links between sentences can be mechanical or unclear, such as the abrupt transition in the third paragraph regarding retired people. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow within paragraphs lacks smooth connections. To reach the next band, the writer needs to ensure a clearer logical progression from one idea to the next, using a wider and more accurate range of cohesive devices without over-relying on repetitive connectors, and making sure referencing between sentences is consistently clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey the basic message. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'thrilling and adventurous activity' and 'professional work', but there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples of lexical inaccuracies include 'retire people' instead of 'retired people', 'perform their hobby' instead of 'pursue their hobby', and 'spend some quality of time' instead of 'spend quality time'. Additionally, grammatical forms of words are sometimes mixed up. To improve, the writer should expand their lexical range and pay closer attention to word forms, collocations, and natural phrasing associated with common IELTS topics.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside a few attempts at complex sentences that are often faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause difficulty for the reader. A clear example of a structural error is found right in the opening sentence: 'I firmly believe that children... to have at least one hobby', where the infinitive clause is grammatically incomplete and lacks a proper verb phrase. Other issues include errors in prepositions and articles, such as 'at sport facility' and 'in their education'. To achieve a higher band, the writer must incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures and significantly reduce the frequency of basic grammatical errors by checking verb agreement, articles, and sentence completeness.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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