Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, human's life has become significantly busy compared to past. In this hectic world, it is neccessary for children, youngsters and older people to invest a little time for at least one hobby. This essay will explain the importance of having a hobby at different age of the life. I personally believe that a hobby may help individuals to be focused in their life and improve their mental health as well.

Firstly, children's minds are sharp to process external information easily and their learning power at the peak at this level of the life than adults. That is why, they can learn different languages, motor skills such as walking, running, writing eating. Futhermore, having a specific hobby at young age helps them to improve their cognitive function, support mental growth and easy adptation to the external environment. For example, parents prefer to register their kids for extra curricular acitvities such as playing any type of musical instrument, dance, painting which allows them to build new interests and learn to develop relationships with others. Secondly, adults have vaious responsibilities related to career building, finance management and family. A hobby encourages young adults to maintain their motivation to achieve the golas of their life without any distraction.

Thirdly, working people may get tired of their busy work schedules everyday. Whereas, hobbies like book reading, playing any sports, household maintenance work help them to distract from the work related stress. This can improve their work efficiency and focus at the work place. As a result, they go everyday to the work with new goals and good mood. At the stage of retirement, older people may get bored of just sitting whole day at home. They need any activities to perform, which can make them busy and active. At the this age, it is really important to move their body to prevent health related issues.

In conclusion, although nowadays it is hard to get time for extra curricular activities, having a hobby can improves both mental and physical health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing why hobbies are important for different age groups, including children, young adults, working people, and the retired. Your position is clear throughout the essay, stating that hobbies help maintain focus and improve mental health. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which is characteristic of this level. While the sections on working people and older adults are well-supported with relevant examples such as avoiding boredom and reducing work-related stress, the discussion on children and young adults tends to list general benefits rather than fully extending every point. To reach the next level, you should ensure that every main idea is equally explored and supported with deeper explanations or more specific personal examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear chronological progression through the different stages of life, moving logically from children to youngsters, working people, and finally older adults. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate each life stage, and the introduction and conclusion frame the piece adequately. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or slightly repetitive, relying on standard transitional markers like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Thirdly.' Additionally, referencing and pronoun use could be smoother; for instance, phrases like 'At the this age' create minor disruptions in the flow. To achieve a higher band, you should aim for more flexible and seamless cohesive devices rather than predictable signposting, and ensure referencing within sentences is tighter.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully attempting less common lexical items such as 'cognitive function,' 'extra curricular activities,' and 'work efficiency.' However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that prevent a higher score. For example, 'neccessary' contains a spelling error, and phrases like 'learning power at the peak at this level of the life than adults' exhibit awkward phrasing and collocation. Other lexical slips include 'easy adptation' instead of 'adaptation' and 'vaious' instead of 'various.' To improve, you need to broaden your control of less common vocabulary and pay closer attention to spelling, exact word forms, and natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to handle varied grammatical structures. You successfully construct complex sentences using relative clauses and subordinate conjunctions, such as 'Although nowadays it is hard to get time...' However, there are some persistent errors in grammar and punctuation. These include article omissions and misuses, such as 'human's life has become significantly busy compared to past,' missing articles before nouns like 'peak' and 'good mood,' and preposition errors like 'at different age of the life.' While these errors rarely impede communication, their presence keeps the grammar score at this level. To reach the next band, you should aim for a higher proportion of error-free sentences and refine your control over articles and prepositions.

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