Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

in this modern era, having a hobbiy is very important to everyone's life. becouse it reduce the stress from hectic schedule. i am going to disuss some reason with an appropriate example i upcomming paragraph.

To commmence with, there are many reasons that why hobbies areessential first of all. if all human being have one hobby they bedcome creative. socondly,it reduces the stress in everyone's life from their hectic school. to cite an example,in schools teachders does not focus on studies. they also create some activities such as drawing, music and so on. thirdly, it keep them away from screen time.

on the other, if i am talking about retire people then they should also have hobby. becouse they have no work to do and their child have no single time to spend with them

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response addresses the prompt minimally, attempting to discuss why hobbies are important for different groups of people, including children and retired individuals. However, the ideas are severely limited and under-developed, lacking sufficient explanation or relevant examples. Furthermore, the response falls significantly short of the required minimum length, containing only 135 words instead of the required 250 words, which heavily restricts the depth of the ideas presented. To reach a higher level, the writer must fully extend and support all main points with detailed explanations and examples, while ensuring the essay meets the word count requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation present, with attempts to use paragraphing and transition phrases such as 'To commmence with' and 'on the other'. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas throughout the essay. Cohesive devices are sometimes used inaccurately or repetitively, and the referencing between sentences is not always clear, leading to a somewhat disjointed reading experience. To improve, the writer needs to ensure logical sequencing between paragraphs and employ a wider, more accurate range of cohesive ties to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for expressing basic thoughts about hobbies and stress. There are numerous noticeable errors in word form, spelling, and word choice, such as 'hobbiy', 'becouse', 'upcomming', 'socondly', and 'retire people'. These lexical inaccuracies occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, use less common lexical items with greater precision, and eliminate spelling errors by carefully proofreading their work.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writer demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent errors. There are frequent mistakes in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and articles, such as 'teachders does not focus' and 'their child have no single time'. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also handled poorly, with run-on phrasing and missing capitals. These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader and distort meaning. To progress, the writer needs to practice forming accurate complex sentences and gain better control over basic grammatical structures and punctuation.

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