Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
I believe to say that hobbies are important for children, young adults and working people and the retired people. But, it depends person to person. Everyone have different skills and hobby.
On the one hand, in children wants to play games. They are used playing mobile games. Children think that game is hooby. but that is not good, they are wasting their time. However, young adults have lot of opportunity. Mostly, young adults play sports games like badmintion, football and ice hockey, which is best for their future. If they will foucus and dedication on games. They can secure future also they can get jobs and some cash prize. Some young people.
One the other hand, working people have hobbies they want to spend time with family and friends and they want to go abroad and they want to buy car, house etc. because, they have family responsibility. But, retired people did everthing, but they want to spend time with their family and have no more hobbies. For example, I have a lot of hobby I want to complete my hobbies each and everything in my life. I want to become a good sportperson.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response addresses the task only minimally and fails to meet the required 250-word minimum, falling significantly short at 194 words. While the writer attempts to discuss hobbies across different age groups, the ideas are heavily restricted and lack sufficient extension or support. For instance, the discussion on children abruptly concludes that mobile gaming is a waste of time, without thoroughly exploring the prompt's nuances. Similarly, the points regarding young adults and working people are fragmented and incomplete, leading to a minimal response where the overall position is not fully clear or developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
Information and ideas are not arranged coherently throughout the text. While basic paragraphing is attempted, the overall progression of thought is difficult to follow. The response relies on repetitive transitional phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'One the other hand' which are sometimes misused, and referencing is frequently unclear, such as when pronouns lack distinct antecedents. Sentences often feel disconnected from one another, creating a disjointed reading experience where logical sequencing between paragraphs breaks down entirely.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, employing simple terms such as 'good', 'spend time', and 'family' frequently. There are noticeable errors in word choice and word formation, such as 'hooby' instead of hobby, 'badmintion' instead of badminton, and 'did everthing' instead of done everything. These limitations and errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted range of vocabulary that struggles to convey precise meaning beyond elementary levels.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, relying heavily on simple sentence patterns while attempts at more complex structures are persistently faulty. Errors are frequent and often distort meaning, such as in the opening sentence 'I believe to say that hobbies are important...' and 'Everyone have different skills and hobby' where subject-verb agreement fails. There are also frequent errors with missing articles, incorrect verb forms like 'in children wants to play games', and improper punctuation, creating substantial difficulty for the reader throughout the text.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.