Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, it is mandatory for different groups of people like, young adults, working people and retired to have at least one hobby. I think hobby would be good idea for relaxation their mind, to choose their careers as well as to learn about new skills.

On the one hand, young adults are oftenly busy in their studies and the most of time they either read books or write their notes. They do not have enough time to persue their hobby. With the help of hobby they can choose their career. For example, an adult hobby is singing, if they can spend at least one hour on this hobby they can show their hidden talent in front of others. By praising and appreciating not only friends but also teachers they choose this talent as a career and become a singer in their further life.

Moreover, working people are busy either office work or household chores. With the help of hobby they divert their mind from whole day tensions and worries and this is the best relaxation therapy for their mind. After that they can proper concentrate on their work which will help to get more ideas. In addition to this, retired people are often bored at home because they spend 20 years on workplace. If retired people have one hobby they can easily pass their time and get new skills. For instance, a retired people can play video games on mobile phones and they can learn how to operate the mobile phones and learn new technical skills.

In conclusion, hobby is a good thing to learn new skills as well as spend the free time. With the the help of hobby everyone can relax their mind as well as this an opportunity to learn new skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing the importance of hobbies across different age groups, such as young adults, working people, and retired individuals, and clearly states an opinion in support of this. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the paragraph on young adults successfully connects a hobby like singing to career choices, providing a relevant example. Conversely, the discussion on retired people learning to operate mobile phones through video games is somewhat limited and relies on a simplistic premise. To move to a higher level, all main ideas would need more fully elaborated supporting details and consistent depth throughout every body paragraph, avoiding any slight generalisations or underdeveloped examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and each body paragraph focuses on a distinct group of people. Cohesive devices are employed to link ideas, such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', and 'In addition to this'. However, the referencing and flow are occasionally mechanical or slightly awkward, as seen in repetitive phrasing like 'With the help of hobby'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate the different demographics, but the logical progression between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother and less formulaic. To achieve a higher standard, the writer should use a wider variety of cohesive relationships naturally without relying on repetitive transitional templates, and ensure referencing pronouns are consistently clear throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate their thoughts on hobbies, relaxation, and skill acquisition. The student attempts less common vocabulary with some degree of success, such as 'relaxation therapy', 'household chores', and 'technical skills'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and word-form errors that reflect a limited range, such as 'persue' instead of 'pursue', 'for their mind' instead of 'for the mind', and awkward phrasing like 'proper concentrate'. While these errors do not seriously impede communication, they prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. Incorporating a more precise range of lexical items with accurate collocations and correct word forms would elevate this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like conditional clauses and relative clauses, such as 'if they can spend at least one hour on this hobby they can show their hidden talent'. There are several errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles ('a good thing', 'a retired people'), preposition misuse ('busy in their studies', 'spend 20 years on workplace'), and minor tense or agreement slips. Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear. To reach the next band, the student needs to produce a greater proportion of error-free sentences when attempting complex structures and maintain tighter control over articles, prepositions, and singular-plural agreement.

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