Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is essential that having at least one hobby is important for people of all ages, including children, young adults, working people and retirees. In my perspective, it is really valuable for the people, which will be elaborated in the essay, citing relevant examples.
To begin with, the children and young adults hobbies can play an important role the most significant one that, it is good for their personal development. This means, that activities such as playing sports, painting or learning a music can help them to improve their focus and become more creative. Furthermore, hobbies can help to develop valuable skills such as teamwork, discipline and communication. This is to say, if the adult and children participate in a variety of activities which can help them to develop essential skills. For example, children who participate in team sports learn how to cooperate with other while also staying physically active.
Additionally, hobbies are equally beneficial for working people and retired people. To initiate with, modern work can be demanding and people often experience considerable stress because of long hours and profession responsibilities so, having hobbies will help to relax and temporary focus on something enjoyable. In other words, having hobbies gives them an opportunity to become an unwind after monotonous routine and reduce their professional stress. For instance, as per the report of "TIMES OF INDIA" Indian doctors play one sports a day for relaxing and enjoyed after a hectic schedule. Moreover, retired people can also benefits greatly from having hobbies when individuals may feel lonely or lack of sense of purpose. This is to say, taking part in gardening, photography or community group can keep them mentally and physically active.
To conclude, as per my advocacy everyone should have at least one hobby. children and adult develop personal growth and learn valuable skills like communication, discipline and team work as well as working people can relax and stress free doing interesting activities and retirees also enjoy different activities like a gardening, social gathering and photography when they feel alone and this activities help them to mentally and physically fresh and stable.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing the importance of hobbies for children, young adults, working people, and retirees, maintaining a clear position throughout. The ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as mentioning teamwork in sports for children and citing a report regarding Indian doctors. However, there is a tendency to over-generalise in places, and certain supporting points overlap slightly in their explanations rather than fully developing distinct facets. To reach a higher level, the ideas would need more precise extension and nuance without repetitive phrasing, moving beyond general assertions to more sophisticated, tightly focused arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear logical organisation and overall progression throughout, effectively dividing the discussion by age groups and life stages into distinct paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used to signal shifts in focus, such as 'To begin with', 'Additionally', and 'To conclude'. However, referencing and transitions are at times slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'This is to say' and 'To initiate with', which pulls the cohesion down slightly from a fully seamless flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but sharpening the transitional phrases would enhance the overall readability and allow the arguments to flow more naturally from one point to the next.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'personal development', 'monotonous routine', and 'hectic schedule'. However, there are some noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation, such as 'learning a music', 'become an unwind', 'play one sports', and 'benefits greatly'. There are also minor awkward phrasings like 'as per my advocacy'. These errors do not impede communication, but they reflect a level where vocabulary control is not yet precise or flexible enough for higher bands. Expanding collocation awareness and refining word forms will help improve this area.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and sentence structure throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the children and young adults hobbies can play', 'this activities help'), article misuse ('the children and young adults', 'a gardening'), and faulty complex structures ('if the adult and children participate in a variety of activities which can help them'). Punctuation errors, such as run-on sentences and missing commas before conjunctions in compound clauses, also persist. These patterns of frequent errors reflect a limited control of complex grammatical structures.
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