Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Hello Andi...

i want to discuss about to get admission In Art class for my son. Can you please provide some information. I'm really very interested on joining my son in Art class i belive having an hobby now a days is very important for everyone including children's adults and working professionals

I cameup with this thought after discussing with my client Rob he recently got retired from his job he shared his Ideas about to start his carrer as trainer he is very good in sports he volunteered for many sport events

After Retirement he dont want to make himself lazy by just spending his life inside the house

I always belive having hobbies makes us feel happy when we do that to blance work life from stress

important Thing is to think before starting based on our efforts

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response shows a relevant opinion: you say that hobbies are important for people at different life stages and can help them feel happy and manage work-related stress. Rob’s retirement and interest in sports also provide a potentially useful example. However, the answer does not fully address the task because it begins as a message asking Andi about art classes for your son, rather than as an essay explaining your opinion. The reasons are only briefly stated, and the example is not developed to show clearly how a hobby benefits Rob. The response is also 110 words below the required minimum. To strengthen it, state your position directly, explain several benefits with supporting examples, and keep the whole response focused on the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic sequence of ideas: you introduce the importance of hobbies, give Rob’s retirement as an example, and then mention happiness and balancing work with stress. This gives the reader some sense of the intended argument. However, the opening about admission to an art class does not connect clearly to the essay question, and the ideas are presented in one continuous block without paragraphing. Connections between points are also limited; for example, the move from Rob’s plans to the general claim about happiness is abrupt. Organise the response into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for reasons and examples, and a conclusion. Use clear links such as “For example” and “As a result” to show how each point supports your opinion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “retired,” “trainer,” “sports,” “volunteered,” and “stress,” so the reader can understand the general subject. There are also attempts to express ideas beyond very basic statements, such as describing Rob’s plan to become a trainer. However, the range is limited, and several word choices or combinations are unnatural or unclear, including “discuss about to get admission,” “start his carrer,” and “blance work life from stress.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “belive,” “cameup,” and “children's” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of natural phrases for discussing hobbies, benefits, and examples, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses simple sentence patterns, with a few attempts to connect ideas, such as “I came up with this thought after discussing with my client Rob.” This communicates the broad meaning, but control is inconsistent. For example, “he dont want” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “I’m really very interested on joining my son” has an incorrect preposition within the sentence pattern. The opening also contains incomplete or awkwardly connected clauses, and punctuation does not consistently separate ideas. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use a wider range of accurate structures to explain reasons and results. Careful proofreading for agreement, articles, prepositions, and sentence boundaries would make the message easier to follow.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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