Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I strongly agree withe this situation that it is important to have a hobby for children, young adults, working people and the retired people.

Having an hobby will make the people responsible in their life. In children the hobby nature should be teach how to maintain and achieve their dream. To maintain hobby from childhood it will be more benifit to have more concentration and concern on their future. Many of the children and yound adults will have the hobby to reading books and travelling. This is the common hobby for children and young adults. This hobby teach children to make travell to different places to make experience thier culture and food routine it will make them to gain knowledge about place and culture of food routine.

If the retired people having only on hobby to tell stories to their gandson's and to their family what they have been experience in their joblife. It may give the people to follow how to maintain their lifestyle in the corrporate and society. They have to learn from their parents how they have lived in their jobs. It will be a good hobby to gain some knowledge how to be in society and also every person should learn or keep a hobby to serve or help the people who are unable to work. If they need your help you must help them and you have to teach some moral to them.

If the people are able to work but they are very lazy to work they must learn to get a hobby and learn how to live, how to help some of the nature should be learn.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear from the opening: you strongly agree that people of all ages should have a hobby. You also offer relevant examples, such as children reading and travelling and retired people sharing stories with grandchildren. However, the response only partially develops the task: the discussion focuses mainly on children and retired people, while working people receive little specific attention, and the benefits of hobbies are not consistently explained. Some points, such as helping people who cannot work, are introduced without showing how this connects to having a hobby. Develop a distinct reason for each age group and support it with a clear example. The response meets the required length; nine words copied from the task prompt were excluded from the count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, discussion of younger people, discussion of retired people, and a final point about people who are able to work. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression between ideas is often unclear, and links within paragraphs can feel repetitive or abrupt. For example, the paragraph about children moves from reading and travelling to gaining knowledge of food and culture without clearly explaining the relationship between these points. The final paragraph is brief and does not connect smoothly to the preceding discussion. Use clearer topic sentences, organise each paragraph around one main benefit, and add linking phrases that show cause, contrast, or example rather than repeating “hobby” and “people.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “concentration,” “culture,” “knowledge,” and “lifestyle,” and these words help communicate your general ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “hobby nature” and “make travell to different places” do not express the intended ideas naturally, while “joblife” and “food routine” are unclear in context. Spelling errors such as “benifit,” “yound,” and “corrporate” also reduce accuracy. Build a bank of natural phrases for discussing hobbies and their benefits, and check spelling and collocations carefully. Prefer precise expressions such as “develop a hobby” and “broaden their understanding of other cultures.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express reasons and examples using both simple sentences and longer structures, including “If the retired people having only on hobby…” and “If they need your help…”. However, the longer attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and sentence construction make some ideas hard to understand. Examples include “Having an hobby will make the people responsible,” “the hobby nature should be teach,” and “If the people are able to work but they are very lazy to work they must learn to get a hobby.” Several sentences also join multiple ideas without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses. Check that each sentence has a clear subject and correctly formed verb, and use full stops to separate distinct ideas.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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