Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, the issue of the importance of hobbies regardless of the age bracket has garnered a significant attention. Personally, I opine that hobbies is of paramount importance in the life of every individual because it relieves stress and it's health benefit.

To begin with the health benefits.Having a hobby helps with our mental welbeing because as an adult occupied with several responsibilites we tend to be stressed out from work and having a hobby is what can help you unwind. For example, when ever I retun from work, I have this habbit of taking a cold shower, puting on a cool and inspirational music in other to relieve myself off the day's stress, which contributes to my mental welbing.

Furthermore, Retired citzens who have lesser responsibilities can occupy their self with one or more hobbies to avoid bordom, or the feeling of loniness. Additionally, engaging in physically active hobbies such as jogging, tennis or golf can contribute to physical fittness. For example my parents who are retired still meet up with friends every weekend for their golf sports. As a result, they improve their social life and still keep in touch with friends

In conclusion, I strongly advice that every individual engage in hobbies because of it's contribution to our physical, mental and social welbing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you believe hobbies benefit people of every age, and you support this with relevant points about stress, loneliness, fitness and social contact. The personal example of listening to music after work and the example of your retired parents playing golf help make the response specific. However, the discussion focuses mainly on adults and retired people; children and young adults are not meaningfully addressed, so the task is only partly covered. Some points also need fuller explanation—for instance, how hobbies benefit younger people. The response is 33 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop these ideas. Address every age group and extend your examples with clearer explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas progress logically from mental wellbeing to the benefits of hobbies for retired people, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Additionally” and “As a result” help guide the reader. This organisation is effective, though some connections feel mechanical, and the second body paragraph combines several points without fully showing how they relate. The opening phrase “To begin with the health benefits” is also followed immediately by a full stop, interrupting the flow. Develop clearer links between each main idea and its example, and use referencing or transitions more naturally to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “paramount importance,” “unwind,” “physically active hobbies” and “social life.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the reader can understand your examples. There are, however, some inaccurate or awkward word choices and collocations, such as “golf sports,” “relieve myself off the day’s stress” and “a significant attention.” Spelling errors, including “welbeing,” “responsibilites” and “bordom,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural combinations and check spelling carefully. For example, “play golf” and “relieve the day’s stress” would express your meaning more idiomatically.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a sentence explaining how responsibilities can cause stress. The main meaning is generally understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries are noticeable. For example, “hobbies is” should be “hobbies are,” while “taking a cold shower, puting on” needs parallel verb forms such as “taking … and putting ….” The fragment “To begin with the health benefits” also needs to be joined to a complete sentence or rewritten. Review subject–verb agreement and keep lists grammatically parallel; more accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to follow.

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