Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's contemporary times, adopting lifesyle with any kind of hobbies is quite crucial for all generations. It unwinds minds and souls. However, work life balance is seen in working people and happiness in elders by providing relaxation. In my opinion, it is a positive approach because it improves the quality of life by inspiring people.

There are numerous reasons why individuals should have a hobby because in hectic life it gives mental peace. Many activities like listening to music or reading books releases unnecessary pressure and noise from mind. For example, hospitals now allow music therapy to make patient less anxious before surgery. Therefore, it has a wide impact in making people happier. Additionally, it develops cognitive skills in children allows them to learn new and creative things. However, reading books also make them less dependent on internet and mentally more disciplined.

Moreover, in old age or retired people because they do not want to explore new things. it gives them pleasure. When they feel good from inside it will reflect outside in their health. For instance, going for a simple walk in the morning makes them feel fresh and active. Consequently, makes them motivated to enjoy the rest of the day. However, stress is the root cause of every disease and it can only be reduced by avoiding it. By adopting any hobby which creates a sense of excitement is a great way to deal with it.

In conclusion, it is essential to have a pastime for all age groups because it has a soothing effect on body. it depressurizes by balancing it at work and at home. It keeps people energize to spend the day with full enthusiasm.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you believe hobbies benefit people of all ages, and you give relevant reasons involving relaxation, children’s learning, and older people’s wellbeing. The examples of music therapy and morning walks help make the discussion concrete. This addresses the question and shows some development beyond simply stating an opinion. However, the groups named in the prompt are not all explored equally: working people receive only a brief reference to work–life balance, while the children’s and retirees’ benefits are more developed. Some claims, such as stress being the root cause of every disease, are broad and would be stronger with qualification or explanation. To strengthen the response further, develop each age group’s benefit with a specific explanation or example and keep the supporting claims precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The paragraphs generally group related points, and signposts such as “Additionally,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the direction of the argument. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the repeated use of “However” does not always express a contrast. Connections between sentences can also be unclear: “Additionally, it develops cognitive skills in children allows them…” combines ideas without a clear grammatical link, while “Consequently, makes them motivated” lacks an explicit subject. The paragraph about older people shifts between hobbies, health, and stress without fully clarifying how each point connects. Use clearer sentence links and ensure each paragraph develops one main idea in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “mental peace,” “cognitive skills,” “music therapy,” and “sense of excitement,” which helps discuss different benefits of hobbies. There are also attempts at more expressive phrasing, such as “a soothing effect.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “unwinds minds and souls,” “noise from mind,” and “keeps people energize.” “Lifesyle” is also misspelled, and “depressurizes” is not a natural choice in this context. These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but they make the expression less precise and fluent. Aim for natural combinations such as “relieves stress” and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including explanations with “because” and examples introduced by “For example.” The main message is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For instance, “Many activities … releases” has subject–verb disagreement, and “reading books also make them” should use a singular verb. The sentence “Additionally, it develops cognitive skills in children allows them…” needs a clear connection between its clauses. Other sentences are incomplete, including “Consequently, makes them motivated…” and “In old age or retired people because…” Capitalisation is also inconsistent at the start of sentences, as in “it gives them pleasure.” Work on complete sentence structure, agreement, and punctuation while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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