Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Hobbies plays a vital role in everyone's life. These are the part of everybody's life which makes them happy and give pleasure. I am completely agree with the statement.

Many individual believe that there should be at least one hobby in everybody life whether they are children, young adults, working professionals and the retired persons. People argue that there is one passion in all, which they can't follow due to financial problems or family pressure, according to a survey in China. So, we can do that passion as hobbies for example it can be anything like reading books, playing any instrument or travelling etc. Moreover, these activities can also become primary source of income if anyone got perfection in it.

There are many benefits of hobbies including mental wellness and enhance critical thinking. Some them can also be used to earn extra income. For childrens it supports learning new skills other that formal learning at school. Young adults can use them as quality time spending activity which encourages them. Furthermore for working people and the retired workers these are more beneficial because they spend their whole day in doing stressed work and after retirement they bacame used to do work, so they can build interest in any hobby and do it during weekends and after retirement. For instance in Japan most of people like to grow trees with bonsai techinqe as hobby.

In conclusion, it is very neccessary for people of all ages to have a hobby to live a happy life and for mentally well-being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction (“I am completely agree with the statement”) and conclusion, and you address the idea across several age groups. Relevant reasons include enjoyment, mental well-being, learning skills and the possibility of earning income; the bonsai example also gives the discussion some specificity. However, development is uneven: the claim that hobbies can become a primary income source is not explained, and the points about working people and retirees are combined in a way that leaves their different needs unclear. The reference to a survey in China is also vague and does not add much support. To strengthen the response, explain each main benefit with a clearer example and show more directly why having a hobby matters to each group.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally move from the value of hobbies to benefits for different age groups. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. At times, however, connections feel mechanical or the references are unclear. For example, “Some them” does not clearly identify the activities, while the long sentence beginning “Furthermore for working people…” combines several ideas without a clear progression. The paragraph about benefits also shifts quickly from children to young adults and then to workers and retirees. Use clearer topic sentences and divide or reorder ideas so each group’s benefit is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “mental wellness,” “critical thinking,” “financial problems” and “primary source of income,” which allows you to discuss several aspects of the topic. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “bonsai technique.” However, inaccurate word forms, spelling and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the writing less natural: “Hobbies plays,” “quality time spending activity,” “bacame” and “techinqe.” Some expressions are also vague or repetitive, including “do that passion as hobbies” and repeated use of “hobby.” Aim for more precise, natural combinations and check spelling carefully. For instance, describe hobbies as activities people “pursue” and say they can “provide an additional source of income.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “whether,” “because” and “if,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals and sentence construction. Examples include “Hobbies plays,” “I am completely agree,” “Many individual believe,” and “Some them can also be used.” The sentence about workers and retirees is especially difficult to control because several clauses are joined together. Practise checking agreement and sentence patterns, and break long sentences into shorter units where needed. For example, “I completely agree” and “Many individuals believe that everyone should have at least one hobby” would express those ideas accurately.

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