Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

On my on idea, I think it is better to have at least one hobby, for

children, young adults for everyone.

First; having at least one hobby for anyone of us, childrens, young adults, working people or retired are very beneficial for us.

like were maintaining our balance diet, second were trying to avoid our bad habits like smoking ,drinking wines and eating to much food.

These is very beneficial for us in maitaining our balnace diet, Because having a hobby will help us maintain our daily routine

instead of staying at home watching movie while eating junkfood is not good to health..having at least something to do outside will be a good idea in avoiding those things, while avoiding were trying to make our self healthy.

Second specially young adults or retired, for example like me

before i dont had, Any hobby so I just calles my friends in then

were going to meet somewhere meet some ladies and we have fun the whole day drinking beers and wines ,while eating alot

of foods without knowing, what will happens to our balance diet

and where trying to ruin our health.

On top of that; It is really very important to us, That we have at least one hobby, In order for us, to take serious in maitaining our

body ship, and avoiding us to get sick. Daily routine can give us focus everyday in doing our daily task, with our friends, couleges

neighburhood or anyone around us, Can helpm us achieve, Being healthy, Because of our simple hobby.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear in broad terms: you believe everyone should have a hobby, and you give reasons related to health and avoiding unhelpful habits. The personal example about spending time with friends drinking and eating also makes the response relevant to the question. However, the discussion is only partially developed. The health benefit is repeated several times, while the value of hobbies for children, working people, and retired people is not explained separately or supported with specific examples. The opening phrase, “On my own idea,” also makes your position less clear than it could be. To strengthen the response, state your opinion directly and develop two distinct reasons with concrete examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response using “First,” “Second,” and “On top of that,” and the reader can identify a general movement from reasons to a personal example and conclusion. However, ideas are not arranged coherently throughout. The first point about maintaining a “balance diet” is repeated across several paragraphs, and the personal example is difficult to follow because events and explanations run together. Some links, such as “These is very beneficial” and “while avoiding,” do not clearly connect the ideas around them. Use one paragraph for each main reason, begin each with a clear topic sentence, and make sure each following sentence explains or illustrates that point. Clearer sentence boundaries would also improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a basic range of vocabulary to communicate the main topic, including “hobby,” “daily routine,” “bad habits,” and “maintaining our body.” Some expressions show an attempt to discuss health and lifestyle, but word choice and spelling errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “balance diet,” “body ship,” “maitaining,” and “neighburhood.” Several phrases are also unnatural, such as “take serious in maintaining” and “eating to much food.” The repeated use of “very beneficial” and “healthy” limits variety. Build a small set of accurate topic phrases, such as “maintain a healthy lifestyle” and “develop a regular routine,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including sentences with “because,” “while,” and “instead of.” However, the range is limited, and errors are frequent enough to make some sentences hard to follow. For example, “children, young adults, working people or retired are very beneficial” has problems with subject–verb agreement and sentence structure; “before i dont had” uses an incorrect tense and verb form; and “what will happens” has an incorrect verb form. Articles, plurals, and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “a hobby” and the long sentence beginning “instead of staying at home.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause at a time.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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