Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

in this busy tight working schedule we all forget to keep our hobbies but am describe below why we should keep atleast one hobby active which is necessery in this time am talking about a gym hobby so its for all childrens as well as adults becasue this habbit keep you fitt from your health side as well as mind side so in this era we dont have the time for our health but if we keep this habbit alive this will help to maintain our body fitt so when we go to gym in the morning time you will feel wonderfull and energetic for the whole day you will be a good human as well so first of all you start wake up early in the morning and this will help you to become a skillfull person that how you can use the time in whole day when you rise up

early you got plenty of time for yourself you go to gym and do exercise and that time when you do workout you will be concern for diet also and this will help you to reduce the eating habbit of fast food and you start eating healthy food and you definately save the money which you spent for outside food so in my opinion keeping this hooby help you in many ways

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear opinion that people should maintain a hobby and develop one relevant example: going to the gym. You explain possible benefits, including feeling energetic, making time for exercise, eating more healthily and saving money. However, the response focuses almost entirely on this single example and does not explain how hobbies might benefit children, working people and retired people in different ways. Several points, such as becoming “a good human,” are asserted rather than explained. The response is also 26 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop your reasons and examples. To strengthen the answer, address the range of people in the prompt and extend each main reason with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The ideas follow a broadly understandable sequence: you introduce the value of a hobby, describe gym exercise, and then connect it to diet and spending. This gives the reader a basic line of argument. However, the response is presented as one long, largely unpunctuated paragraph, so the relationships between points are difficult to follow. Linking phrases such as “so,” “as well as,” and “first of all” recur without creating clear stages in the argument. Some references, including “this habit,” are also vague because several possible benefits or actions precede them. Use separate paragraphs for your position, reasons and example, and conclusion; then connect ideas with precise transitions and clear references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the central topic, with relevant terms such as “exercise,” “diet,” “energetic,” and “healthy food.” You also attempt to express several related benefits rather than relying on only one repeated word. However, the range is limited and some choices or collocations are inaccurate, including “busy tight working schedule,” “from your health side,” and “keep this habit alive.” Spelling errors such as “necessery,” “becasue,” and “definately” are noticeable and reduce the overall accuracy. Aim for more natural topic vocabulary and check spelling carefully. For example, describe a hobby as supporting physical and mental well-being, rather than using the less natural phrase “from your health side.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences using words such as “because,” “when,” and “if,” and the general meaning is usually recoverable. However, sentence structures are limited and many sentences run together without full stops, commas or clear clause boundaries. There are frequent errors in verb forms and sentence construction, as in “you start wake up early” and “when we go to gym … you will feel.” Agreement and number are also inconsistent, for example “all childrens,” while “we” shifts to “you” within the same argument. These patterns sometimes make the reader work to identify the intended meaning. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them accurately using subordinate clauses and consistent pronouns.

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