Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is undeniable fact that young children, Adults and Retired people have one hobby they can do that in their free time in below paragraph. I would like to put forth my views and opinion in the conclusion.

To begin with, one of the most reasons is that if they are having a hobby they can do in their free time for the retired person they can continue their hobby so it is beneficial for their health. In addition to this, young childrens are so busy in studies so atleast an half hour they can play their hobby. For an instance, people are having lot of pressure for their work, studies, finicial and many more things so if they can follow their hobby for alteast one hour a days they can relax their stress.

Futhermore, hobbies can devlop their skills and build social relationship. If they are having a hobby of playing a cricket so they can meet new people in the match and build their connection. For an example, for the children playing a cricket or drawing class they can build the connection and for the retired people gradening or reading novel and going in library or yoga class they can meet new people. They can share their thoughts with other people as well.

The seemingly inexorable description about the topic they can atleast one hobby can keep going . Nevertheless, showing a deep revereance obersving a finer nuance of that matter mention above. I will support people can continue their hobby in their daily life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is broadly supportive of people having hobbies, and you give relevant reasons: hobbies may help retired people’s health, relieve stress, develop skills, and create social connections. The examples of cricket, drawing, gardening, reading, and yoga help show how different age groups might benefit. However, the position is not stated clearly at the beginning, and the opening promises that your opinion will appear in the conclusion rather than presenting it directly. Some points are asserted rather than explained—for example, the link between hobbies and health or stress relief could be made more specific. The final paragraph is difficult to understand and does not provide a clear, developed conclusion. State your view plainly and explain each main reason with a focused example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, and phrases such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “In addition to this” signal that you are adding points. The ideas about personal wellbeing and social relationships are also grouped into separate body paragraphs. However, progression is not consistently clear: the first paragraph combines several age groups and benefits, while the second moves between children, retired people, and examples without a clear sequence. Some linking phrases are awkward or do not show the relationship between ideas accurately. The final paragraph, beginning “The seemingly inexorable description,” is not connected clearly to the discussion, so it weakens the overall progression. Organise each paragraph around one main reason and use clear references and transitions to connect its explanation and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “hobby,” “pressure,” “skills,” “social relationship,” and “connection,” and you attempt more specific examples such as “gardening” and “yoga class.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “play their hobby,” “build social relationship,” and “continue their hobby so it is beneficial for their health.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “finicial,” “devlop,” and “gradening.” The phrase “seemingly inexorable description” is especially unsuitable for the point being made. Choose simpler, precise expressions and check spelling; for instance, say “take part in a hobby,” “form social connections,” and “financial pressures.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional structures such as “if they are having a hobby they can do in their free time.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in articles, agreement, plurals, and sentence construction can make the reader work to understand your meaning. For example, “It is undeniable fact” needs an article, and “young childrens are” has incorrect plural and agreement. In “people are having lot of pressure,” the noun phrase and verb form are not controlled. The final paragraph also contains sentence fragments or incomplete constructions. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles and singular/plural forms. A few well-controlled complex sentences would be more effective than longer sentences with several errors.

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