Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is very important for kids, youths, working individuals and senior citizens to have at least one hobby. This essay will examine the benefits of having a hobby for all age groups. In my opinion, it is beneficial because it helps to keep people busy and not bored especially for the retired .

Firstly, hobby is one activity people do for fun, its so important because it serve as excitement tools for many people. These could be inform of reading books, watching movies, shopping, listening to music and a lot more. Many retired staff enjoy those time alone or with friends who enjoy the same hobby as them. It helps to relax the mind and time for bonding. Furthermore, working people enjoy their hobby time because it helps them to unwind work stress and to sleep better especially those that likes listening to music. For example, some female senior citizens like working on their garden with their grandkids while telling stories.

Secondly, hobby are important to young adults because it is an opportunity to identify and work on their talents. Many youths are encouraged to go into football or acting through watching soccer or movies, which helps in motivating them because they feel fulfilled and happy. In addition, children are encouraged by their parents to have one hobby because it improves their skills and cognitive reasoning, enables them to think and explore. However, they are guided into choosing the right hobby that will benefit the child in future. For instance, most youths do chores in their homes while listening to music.

In conclusion, hobby is useful to both young and old and its essential at every stage in life. It is a time to reflect, fun and bonding with families.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe hobbies benefit people at every stage of life, and you address children, young adults, working people and retirees. Relevant benefits include relaxation, reducing work stress, developing talents and improving children’s thinking skills. The examples of gardening with grandchildren and listening to music while doing chores help make the discussion concrete. However, some points are less fully explained than others. For instance, the link between watching football or films and young people choosing football or acting is asserted rather than clearly developed, and the chores example does not strongly illustrate how a hobby develops a talent. Explain how each example supports your main reason to make the response more consistently developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs organised around different age groups, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore,” and “Secondly” make the progression easy to follow, and the examples generally appear beside the relevant points. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical, however, because several ideas are introduced through similar additive transitions rather than linked through their meaning. Some references are also unclear: “those time” does not clearly identify the activity or period, and “which helps in motivating them” has an uncertain reference. Use more precise pronouns and connect sentences by showing cause, contrast or consequence, rather than relying mainly on signposting words.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “unwind,” “cognitive reasoning,” “bonding” and “fulfilled,” which helps express several distinct benefits. Meaning is generally clear, but some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “excitement tools,” “inform of,” “unwind work stress” and “a time to reflect, fun and bonding.” There is also repetition of “hobby” and “important,” and a few phrases are vague, including “a lot more.” Aim for more natural combinations and precise wording; for example, describe hobbies as “a source of enjoyment” and say they help people “relieve work-related stress.” This would make your vocabulary more fluent and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “because,” “while” and “which,” and the main ideas remain understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with agreement, articles and sentence construction. Examples include “hobby … serve” and “hobby are,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “hobby is one activity,” which needs an article before the singular countable noun. The opening also has an awkward construction in “because it helps to keep people busy and not bored especially for the retired.” Review subject–verb agreement and article use, and punctuate introductory or explanatory phrases consistently. More accurate control of these patterns would strengthen the otherwise clear communication.

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