Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely believe that in contemporary society it is very hard to find time for yourself in this busy life to spend on your hobies. However, i believe we should have a balance to have atleast one hobby to help us unwind after a brain draining day on your workplace. Regardless of the age, everybody need hobbies in life to manage with stress.

One compelling reason for this stance is that stress and depression are the major factors in declining physical and mental health of people especially the youth. It ultimately leads to pause on their career growth. They become distracted and adopt some kinds of bad habits. Moreover, they become distant from their blood relations.

Talking about seniors members of society and the retired ones, they dont have healthy activities and are spending their time on television and cellphone. These unhealthy factors causing them multiple diseases including arthritis, hypertension and diabetes.

The Children early in their lives spending their time on tablets watching cartoons which is affecting their learning abilities and eye problems.

This perceptive is further reinforced by some studies that health issues and mental depression are majorly caused by loneliness and due to unhealthy activities.

In conclusion i strongly believe that to have a normal life starting from a child to a retired individual at old age, it is necessary to have atleast one hobby in their lives that can allow them to spend time for their own well-being. Overall, the evidences clearly support my position that hobies play a vital in supporting health asn career development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you believe people of all ages should have a hobby, and the conclusion restates this view. You address children, working-age people and retirees, with relevant points about stress, health and screen use. The discussion of stress and career effects gives some explanation, but several claims are asserted rather than developed—for example, that stress leads to “pause on their career growth” and that seniors’ habits cause specific diseases. The paragraph about children is also brief and does not explain how a hobby would improve learning or wellbeing. To strengthen the response, develop fewer points with a clear cause-and-effect explanation and a specific example, while making the benefits of hobbies explicit for each age group.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, supporting paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas also move broadly from working-age people to seniors and children, and phrases such as “One compelling reason” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages. However, the progression within the body is sometimes abrupt: the discussion shifts from stress to family relationships, then to seniors and children, without consistently linking each point back to the central argument. “This perceptive is further reinforced” introduces a study claim but does not identify or explain the evidence. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example to the benefit of having a hobby; vary linking phrases so the organisation feels less like a list.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “unwind,” “mental health,” “career growth,” “loneliness” and “well-being.” These choices help communicate your main ideas, and you attempt more specific terms such as “hypertension” and “arthritis.” However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations are noticeable, including “hobies,” “brain draining day,” “blood relations” and “health issues … are majorly caused.” Some wording also obscures meaning, such as “This perceptive,” apparently intended to mean “perspective.” Aim for accurate spelling and natural collocations, and choose precise phrases rather than translating expressions directly. This would make your vocabulary more flexible and clear while preserving the relevant range already attempted.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “a hobby … that can allow them to spend time” and a conditional-style explanation of consequences. The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some errors in sentence structure, agreement, verb forms and punctuation remain. For example, “It is widely believe” needs a passive form, “everybody need” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “These unhealthy factors causing them” is not a complete finite clause. The sentence beginning “The Children early in their lives spending…” also lacks a correctly formed main verb. Practise building complete clauses and checking agreement and verb forms; then use complex structures only when their grammar is secure.

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