Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Adopting hobby in daily life is considered essential by kids, teenagers and senior citizens. I agree with this notion. In the following paragraphs, I would state my reasons matching with my viewpoints.
To commence with, Having a activity for leisure time would support in emotional and mental strength. To elaborate this, Performing activity can help to forget about stress. For example, A person during work tension can listen music to loose focus on tension.Hence, Hobby can be beneficial for physical and mental health.
Furthermore, Hobby can stop the negative thoughts. To explain this, Exercising could unessential views that can cause anxiety. Therefore, Hobby could be highly important to keep brain activitues stable.
In conclusion, Hobby can have great influence on mind as well as body to achieve good health. It could forcen mind to put dot on anxiecal thoughts. However, excessive is detrimental in every situation. Hobby can lead to excellent by keeping balance between work life and individual daily live.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You state a clear opinion—“I agree with this notion”—and give relevant reasons, including stress relief and the possible mental and physical benefits of hobbies. However, the response addresses the topic only partially: the reasons are brief, and the example of listening to music during work tension is not explained enough to show how the hobby helps. The second point about exercise and negative thoughts is also unclear and under-developed. The conclusion introduces balance between work and personal life but does not develop this idea. The response is 89 words below the required minimum, which leaves too little space to explain and support your position. Develop each reason with a clear explanation and a specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable overall arrangement: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To commence with,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of your argument. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with several short statements connected by formulaic transitions such as “To elaborate this” and “Therefore.” Some links between ideas are unclear—for example, the move from exercising to “negative thoughts” is not fully explained. The conclusion also introduces work-life balance without connecting it clearly to the earlier points. Use fewer stock transitions and make each paragraph develop one reason in a logical sequence: claim, explanation, and example.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “leisure time,” “stress,” “anxiety,” and “physical and mental health,” so the reader can identify your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, sometimes making the meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “loose focus on tension,” “put dot on anxiecal thoughts,” and “Hobby can lead to excellent” do not express your intended meaning naturally. There are also spelling and word-form problems, such as “activitues” and “daily live.” Aim for precise, familiar expressions rather than forcing complex phrases. For example, you could describe a hobby as helping someone “manage stress” or “maintain emotional well-being.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple statements and longer structures, including “A person during work tension can listen music to loose focus on tension,” and you use a conditional idea in “Hobby can lead to excellent by keeping balance.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to understand. Examples include the missing article in “Having a activity,” the incorrect pattern “support in emotional and mental strength,” and the missing “to” in “can listen music.” Sentence boundaries and capitalization are also inconsistent, as in “tension.Hence” and the capitalized “Having” and “Performing” after commas. Practise accurate article use, verb patterns, and punctuation, then build longer sentences from correctly formed clauses.
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