Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Hobbies are important aspect in many people life. While some may argue its important for children and young aults in teenage to have them while others believe its essential for working class and retired adults. I strongly agree, that hobbies equally benefits both groups because it provides health and confidence advantage for young people and purpose, connection to working or retired adults.

FIrst of all, keeping young adults and children occupied builds confidence and have health benefits. Now no more time is lost to the screen in the bedroom without hobby. For example, a 15 year old plays football three evenings a week instead of spending them alone on her phone, hosing friends and confidence. She goes on a match on sunday being a captain of the team and the whole team calling her name. All this builds both the confidence and health needed for adolescenes which they grow up.

Secondly, hobbies do have tremendous benefits for working and retired people. This is because it gives those people a purpose beyond their work. For them there is no empty days after the last day at work. For example, a newly retired man paits every morning with a local art group instead of sitting alone at home, cut off from everyone. He paints on tuesday morning in his own easel with five friends painting along with him. This way both hobby helps both working class and retired people with purpose and company.

In conclusion, hobbies help people of all ages while children and young people find it as healthy option. It gives Adults and retired people a purpose and company in life. Its keeps everyone occupied and leads with satisfied life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that hobbies benefit both younger people and adults, and the conclusion returns to this view. You address both age groups and give relevant examples, including the teenager playing football and the retired man joining an art group. These examples make the main reasons—health and confidence for young people, and purpose and companionship for older adults—easy to understand. However, the development is uneven: the football example is vivid, while the benefits for working people are asserted more than explained, and the retired-person example receives most of that paragraph’s detail. To strengthen the response, explain more specifically how a hobby benefits someone who is still working and connect each example more directly to the claim.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs organised by age group, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the progression. The examples are placed in the relevant paragraphs, so the main line of argument remains understandable. Some connections, however, are mechanical or unclear. For instance, “This way both hobby helps both working class and retired people” repeats the same idea without clearly linking the example to the claim, and “While some may argue…” introduces a contrast that is not developed as a genuine opposing view. Use more precise referencing and vary transitions; also make the relationship between each example and its supporting point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “confidence,” “health benefits,” “purpose,” “local art group,” and “cut off from everyone.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and there are attempts at more specific language in the examples. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, such as “aults,” “hosing friends,” “adolescenes,” and “paits.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, including “health and confidence advantage,” “goes on a match,” and “satisfied life.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations as complete phrases. A wider, more consistently controlled range would make the argument sound clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrastive opening with “While…” and explanations beginning “This is because…”. Most of the intended meaning can be followed, but some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. Examples include “Hobbies are important aspect” (article and plural agreement), “hobbies equally benefits” (subject–verb agreement), and “it provides” after the plural subject “hobbies.” The sentence “All this builds both the confidence and health needed for adolescenes which they grow up” also has an unclear clause structure. Review articles, agreement, and relative clauses, and proofread punctuation and capitalisation. Aim to retain varied sentence patterns while making each clause complete and grammatically clear.

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