Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In my opionion I would recommend that everyone should have one hobby in their life wether they are children, young adults, working people or the retired person. Having a hobby is important from my perspective because it gives you exposure to new experience if I talk about children they should have a hobby to develop their cognitive and social skills whereas if I talk about young adults they get busy with studies and part time jobs and a hobby can make them feel alive and happy at times, it can boost thier confidence and give them a dopamine to be focused they will not get stuck in a loop of studies and work only but they will also learn to find balance between work amd personal life.

Now coming to working people they get too busy with work to ctually have a hobby time but that makes it more important to have one, in my oinion they are too tired to build a new hobby but they can definitely re-do their old hobbies like I am a full time working women and have a household to manage so instead of picking up a new hobby I would rather do what I used to do whn I wasn't working like reading a book or make a painting and give that painting atleast 30 minutes daily in that way I can feel like myself again after a tiring workday.

To be honest once you get retired for a first few months only you should pick an extremely different hobby or I should say hobbies so that you can re-live your life again learn new things that you couldn't learn when life was busy with work,kids and responsibilities.One of my friend's father loved to travel and explore world but due to financial issues, work, kids he couldn't do that but now after retiring he started travelling with different groups recently he went to vietnam. having a hobby not only teaches you something but also bring back liveliness in your life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the opening: you recommend that people of every age have a hobby, and you maintain this view throughout. You address children, young adults, working people and retirees, giving relevant reasons and personal examples. The account of returning to reading or painting after work, and your friend’s father travelling after retirement, help support the argument. This fits a response that covers all parts and extends its ideas. Some points, however, are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that hobbies give young adults “a dopamine” and help them focus could be clarified, and the advice that retirees should choose a very different hobby for their first few months needs more justification. Develop these links to make the support more consistently convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a discernible progression, moving from children and young adults to working people and then retirees, with examples placed alongside the relevant points. Phrases such as “Now coming to working people” and “To be honest” help signal shifts, and the conclusion returns to the central benefit of hobbies. This gives the essay an overall coherent arrangement. However, much of the response is presented in very long blocks, and several ideas are joined in extended sentences, so the reader has to work to identify where one point ends and another begins. Some transitions also feel mechanical because they announce each group rather than showing the relationship between ideas. Use separate, focused paragraphs and clearer sentence boundaries to strengthen progression and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including relevant expressions such as “cognitive and social skills,” “boost their confidence,” “work and personal life,” and “financial issues.” These choices help communicate a range of benefits and circumstances, and the examples are generally easy to understand. There are also attempts at more expressive language, such as “feel alive” and “re-live your life,” though some phrasing is imprecise or informal for an essay. “Give them a dopamine” is an inaccurate collocation, while “re-do their old hobbies” and “explore world” are not natural formulations. Spelling slips such as “opionion,” “wether,” and “thier” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including contrasts with “whereas” and conditional phrasing such as “if I talk about children.” The meaning is generally recoverable, and the examples make your points clear. However, some sentences are overloaded with clauses, which leads to punctuation problems and makes grammatical relationships difficult to follow. For instance, the opening runs several ideas together without clear sentence boundaries, and the sentence beginning “To be honest once you get retired” contains multiple clauses that need clearer separation. There are also errors in agreement and verb forms, as in “having a hobby … bring back liveliness” and “or make a painting.” Work on accurate subject–verb agreement, parallel verb forms, articles, and full stops. Shorter, controlled sentences alongside complex ones would improve clarity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.