Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's busy lives every age of People are taking very stress about thier future. furthermore, Some people are Depress about thier lives because it's not for some specific age it's same problem for like adults,aged,young,also retired people because they not have any activity to do to divert their mind I think Every age of people have at least one hobby because it's for thier daily life routine change.

Firstly, in this Busy World no one care about thier personal hobby because there is reason is they don't have enough time to Work on their hobby .hobby is not option it's playing very important role on your life it's give you fresh and motivated next days.Althogh , people are giving time on thier hobby their Enjoing thier personal life.

Furthermore, Children are Follow that hobby including drawing,dancing,singing and so on it's very good for thier devplopement also adult are very stress about their studies and future they also need to give some time to their hobby because that's makes you happy and relaxing and motivation for your future.

Secondly, Every Employess are very stree about their task,projects,meeting,and etc. they didn't even think about thier hobby it's very disaapointed things they do for thier self because at the end your health is your First priority so u have to give some time like go some place like travelling;photography , swimming and etc.

Apartly , we are not thinkimg about retired people hobby because we are considerint they already retired si they did't have stress and any pressure on thier life it's not right retired people also have stuck on their daily routine life. I would also suggest to them they follow their hobby like gardening, farming,travelling and also making some more memories together .

In conclusion, hobby is not for specific people it's for everyone like adult,retired,children young because hobby it's not an option to follow it's very impotant thing u do for yourself in this busy and stress daily life so just give priority to your self enjoy your live , and do the whatever u want in your life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe people of every age should have a hobby, and you address children, adults, employees and retired people. Relevant reasons include hobbies helping people relax, supporting children’s development and giving retired people a meaningful routine. These points answer the question, but they are not developed equally. For example, you list activities such as drawing and gardening, yet give little explanation or a specific example of how they benefit someone. The discussion of working people focuses mainly on stress and health, while the opening claim about stress across all ages is repeated later rather than extended. To strengthen the response, explain the effects of hobbies in more detail and support key points with a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs discussing different age groups and a conclusion that restates your opinion. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from lack of time to the importance of hobbies and then to enjoyment without clearly connecting these ideas. Some transitions, including “Secondly” and “Apartly,” do not accurately show the relationship between points, and repeated references to stress make the argument feel circular. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, explain it, and then give an example; use pronouns and linking phrases only where their reference is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “personal hobby,” “development,” “daily routine,” “priority” and activity examples such as “photography” and “gardening.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited by repeated words such as “stress,” “hobby” and “life,” while several inaccurate or misspelled forms make the message less clear, including “Depress,” “devplopement,” “Enjoing” and “disaapointed.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “taking very stress” and “stuck on their daily routine life.” Build a more precise vocabulary for benefits and pressures, and check spelling and collocations. For instance, describe hobbies as “relieving stress” or “providing a sense of fulfilment.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, such as the sentence explaining that hobbies can make people happy and relaxed. However, control is inconsistent, and many sentences contain errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, verb forms and articles. For example, “Every age of people have” needs a singular subject–verb form, while “they not have any activity” is missing an auxiliary. Several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation, particularly the opening and the paragraph about children and adults, which makes relationships between ideas harder to follow. There are also fragments or incomplete constructions, such as “because there is reason is they don't have enough time.” Practise building accurate short sentences first, then combine them with correctly punctuated clauses using “because,” “while” and “which.”

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