Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

For Children,Young Pupils, and working Individual as well as retired ones having at least one Hobby is very Essentials for thier life.

I personally Agree the above statement, additionally many individual maynot agree this. Mnay individual think of having at least one hobby is not at all important for anyonne.However, it is totally depend on the individual person thinking or belife for living. For a healthy Children, or young people having an hobby usually means Reading a book or novel, going out for a walk, Workout, swimming, and many more.

However, My personal opinion is having at least one hobby is very essential for every human Being either they are Elders, Young Children, or Retired Person. Hobby is the key which allow and connect individual to the world, it is like a music which is most important to an singer. As for an example; I perosnally have a hobby to workout and be fit which help me become healthy and also increase my muscle and my brain power. Before of this Hobby it was very hard for me to Communicate with other pupils as I am an Introvert, After getting in shape I gained confidence to communicate with pupils.As for Now, I change my Introvert nature into extrovert Nature which Eventually help me to grow in my Life.

Furthermore,as an retired Navy officer after retiring having an hobby is very important for thier daily life style.Peoplle usually frame thier hobby as thier behaviour as for example, Introvert peoples usually have an reading hobby as they want to dettack with the world and spend thier time reading.Moreover, Young people to get an hobby really help them to reframe thier future, ass one can get an hobby to get fit, one can start an hobby to explore, adventure and many more.

In Conclusion, I think having an Hobby is a Core eessential part for Young people, working individuals and also retired Pupils.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that people at different life stages should have a hobby, and you give relevant reasons, including fitness, confidence and having a meaningful routine after retirement. The personal example about working out and becoming more confident helps support your view. You also refer to children and young people, although their benefits are listed rather than explained in depth. The point about retired people is relevant but remains general, and the claim that introverted people tend to read is not clearly supported. To strengthen the response, develop each group’s needs with a specific explanation or example, and make the link between hobbies and wellbeing more precise. Overall, the task is addressed, but some ideas are less fully developed than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, paragraphs giving reasons and examples, and a conclusion that restates your opinion. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Furthermore” and “In Conclusion” help signal movement between points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined together without clear relationships. For example, the discussion moves from retirement to introversion and then to young people’s future in one paragraph. Some transitions also feel mechanical or do not show a genuine contrast. Use one main idea per paragraph, arrange supporting details in a clear order, and use pronouns or repeated key terms carefully so readers can identify who each statement refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “hobby,” “confidence,” “Introvert,” “extrovert” and “retired Navy officer,” and your meaning is generally recoverable. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “hobby,” “individual” and “people,” while several word choices or combinations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “frame their hobby as their behaviour” and “dettrack with the world.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “thier,” “perosnally” and “eessential,” also make the writing less fluent to read. Build a bank of natural collocations for leisure and wellbeing, and check spelling and word forms during editing. More precise vocabulary would help you express the same relevant ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “as” and “which,” so there is some variety in structure. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries can make the reader pause. For example, “it is totally depend” needs a finite verb form, while “Hobby is the key which allow” has an agreement problem. The opening also joins several sentence elements without consistent punctuation, and “After getting in shape I gained confidence to communicate with pupils.Pupils” needs clearer sentence separation. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a supporting clause, then check subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation.

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