Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Personal interests play vital role in life of people ,everyone should have hobbies instead they are young , children ,employed or in old age .I personally believe that it is crucial for holistic development to have avocation i will include reasons and example for having leisure time in upcomming paragraphs.

To begin with , children should be passonate for some activities which help to decrease their screen time on phones. The young generation tend to use internet and waisting their time on social media which in negative way affect their physical health like weak eyesight and obesity in comparison of this if they have hobby like games and art so they can develop their productivity .For example ,hobbies like dancing and games support to build good physical health to children as well they become more sharp and active comparison to using phone by which they become lathargic .

Secondly, for workers and retirees hobbies provide a valuable way to relax .After many years of working individuals should take time for themselves and unwind. For example , people who are working and who worked many years should indulge them in personal interets to prevent burnout .Some reports of survey in the tribune reflects that people who give their more time to work later feel less motivated and disturbed due to same routine so, they need relaxing leisure activities to calm themselve it also helps them to relieve their stress and workload.

To conclude , having a hobby makes difference in people life they become more productive as well fell relaxed , along with children as it help them to be creative and stay away from social media and vulger content which affect their tiny minds .Activites also help people to stay fit and active.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe people of all ages benefit from having a hobby, and you address children as well as workers and retirees. The points about reducing children’s screen time and helping adults relax are relevant, with examples such as dancing, games and avoiding burnout. This covers the task, but the groups and benefits are not developed equally: young adults receive little separate attention, and the claim that hobbies improve children’s productivity is not explained in detail. The survey reference is also vague, so it does not provide strong support. To strengthen the response, explain how hobbies benefit young adults specifically and extend each main point with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation or a more concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs organised around different age groups, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Secondly,” and “To conclude” make the progression easy to follow. This meets the lower-band expectations securely and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger organisation. However, connections within sentences are sometimes mechanical or unclear, particularly in the long sentence beginning “The young generation tend to use internet,” where several ideas are joined without clear punctuation. The conclusion also repeats earlier benefits rather than drawing the discussion together. Use shorter, clearly punctuated sentences and make links between claims and examples more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “holistic development,” “unwind,” “burnout,” “leisure activities,” and “relieve their stress.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and attempts at less common language are evident. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, however, as in “passonate for some activities,” “support to build good physical health,” and “give their more time to work.” Spelling errors such as “upcomming,” “lathargic,” and “interets” also reduce precision, although the intended meaning is generally recoverable. Aim for natural combinations of words and check spelling carefully; accurate, familiar phrasing is more effective than an ambitious expression used incorrectly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if they have hobby like games and art” and a relative clause in “activities which help to decrease their screen time.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation sometimes make the reader work to follow the meaning. For example, “everyone should have hobbies instead they are young” does not express the intended relationship clearly, while “people who give their more time to work later feel” has faulty structure. Several sentences also run together, especially in the first body paragraph. Practise building accurate sentences first, then combine them with conjunctions; check subject–verb agreement, articles and sentence boundaries during editing.

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