Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the contemporary era, everyone have a very busy schedule in this fast paced world . A section of society contends that it is mandatory to have at least one hobby for people of all age groups whether they are children, adolescent, employers or the retired one.In my opinion, I believed that having a hobby is more beneficial as it helps people to relax and feel fresh.

First and foremost, lives of student is very hectic as they are spending 6-8 hours in schools for studies and after that most students are spending 2 hours at tuition centres and after that they prefer to spend time on watching mobile phones due to this schedule they take their studies as a burden which is a big barrier to their cognitive development. Therefore, it is very important for students to have hobby such as playing their favourite outdoor games, painting,drawing etc ,which will not only help them to feel relax but also help them to increase their holistic and cognitive development .

Secondly, working people have alot of workload and due to prolonged working hours they feel stressed and sometimes falling to serious illness. However, having a hobby help them to getting out of illness and stress.Also, they can learn some new skills that might be help them to set their own business in their future.

Furthermore, the retired people most often live alone, as after doing work for long time they used to prefer to stay at countryside . Therefore their children have moved apart for the betterment of their future. The retired people feel alone and this loneliness can lead them to depression. To overcome the feeling of loneliness it is beneficial for them to have some hobby such as gardening that will engage them .

In conclusion, and in my opinion, hobby is playing a crucial role in the lives of people as it helps them to feel relax, fresh and reduce the feeling of loneliness . Apart from this, it also help them to improve the cognitive and holistic development .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you believe hobbies benefit people by helping them relax, feel refreshed and reduce loneliness. You address students, working people and retirees, with relevant examples such as outdoor games, painting and gardening. The discussion of students’ cognitive development and retirees’ isolation gives the response a sound basis, and the conclusion restates your view. However, the task refers to children, young adults, working people and retired people, while children and young adults are not clearly discussed as distinct groups. The working-people point about hobbies helping someone start a business is also introduced without explanation. To strengthen the response, cover each group explicitly and develop each reason with a specific example or clearer explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on students, workers and retirees, and a conclusion. Its progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “First and foremost,” “Secondly” and “Furthermore” help identify the stages of the argument. Some linking is less controlled, however. The student paragraph contains several ideas joined in a long chain, making the relationship between study schedules, phone use and development harder to follow. “Therefore” is also used to introduce consequences in ways that are not always clearly connected, and the conclusion repeats points already made. Use shorter, more focused sentences and make cause-and-effect links explicit; this would preserve the logical organisation while making cohesion more flexible and precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “cognitive development,” “prolonged working hours,” “loneliness” and “depression.” These choices help communicate relevant effects of hobbies, and the examples of painting and gardening are appropriate. At times, however, word choice and collocation are inaccurate or repetitive: “feel relax,” “getting out of illness,” “a big barrier” and repeated use of “hobby” sound unnatural or imprecise. There are also spelling and form issues such as “alot” and “adolescent.” Aim to use familiar vocabulary accurately before reaching for more elaborate expressions, and vary repeated terms with suitable alternatives such as “pastime” or “leisure activity.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “as,” “which” and “that,” and the overall meaning remains understandable. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “everyone have” should be “everyone has,” “lives of student is” needs a plural subject and matching verb, and “having a hobby help them” should be “helps them.” The opening also shifts awkwardly between “I believed” and a present opinion. Some sentences, particularly the long one beginning “First and foremost,” contain too many linked clauses and punctuation problems. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and divide long sentences into clearer units.

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