Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

I strongly agree it is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired have at least one hobby. children have many hobbies like playing , eating, walk. children have many hobbies that's why children are enjoying childhood. Because children are focus at least one good hobby in childhood and enjoying long time one hobby. young adults have lot's of friends in school times girls or boy. They are enjoying every moment in school times. if people don't have any hobby then they can't enjoying life and everytime they are confuesed and rude. if many peoples enjoying life like playing game and spent time with family and friends then they are grow fast and learn everything. if people don;t have hobby then they can't enjoy life and everytime they are frusted. so need atleast one hobby in every people. working people are also enjoying life with office colleous, they are worked with team and spent time. so thats why need at least one hobby in every people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

Your position is clear from the opening: “I strongly agree,” and you give relevant reasons, such as hobbies helping children enjoy childhood and allowing working people to spend time with colleagues. However, the response addresses the topic only minimally: young adults and retired people are mentioned in the prompt but receive little or no specific discussion, and most claims are repeated rather than explained with examples. The response is also 156 words, below the required 250 words; 12 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. To develop the answer, explain how hobbies benefit each age group and add a concrete example or personal experience to support your reasons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic line of thought: you state your opinion and then refer to children, young adults and working people. Some linking expressions, including “because,” “if” and “so,” show attempts to connect ideas. However, the response is presented as one continuous block, and the ideas do not progress clearly from one age group or reason to the next. Repeated points such as “if people don’t have any hobby then they can’t enjoy life” make the development circular, while “so that’s why” repeats the same conclusion. Use separate paragraphs, each with one main point, and connect examples to that point with clear referencing rather than repeating the claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “hobbies,” “childhood,” “friends,” “family” and “team,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the range is narrow and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “enjoying life” and “at least one hobby.” Some inaccurate choices make meaning less clear, such as “children have many hobbies like playing, eating, walk” and “they are confuesed and rude.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “colleous,” “frusted” and “lot’s,” also weaken control. Build a wider set of precise terms for leisure activities and their benefits, and check spelling and collocations when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses simple statements and attempts some longer conditional sentences, for example, “if people don’t have any hobby then they can’t enjoying life.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but the sentence patterns are limited and errors occur frequently. Verb forms are often inaccurate (“they are worked,” “they are grow,” and “can’t enjoying”), and there are problems with articles, plurals and agreement, as in “need at least one hobby in every people.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with sentences beginning in lowercase and commas separated from words. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then use a few controlled clauses with “because” or “if.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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