Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Today it is essential for every age group like children, adults , working individual and the retired to have one hobby as it allows them to keep their mind relaxed and benefits in the future.

To begin with, children and young adults spend most of their time in schools or tution gaining theoretical knowledge which makes them stressed and less effecient to participate in any extra activity. in order to remove this burden parents should allow their child to participate in extra curricular activities which suits their interest. For example, Many succesful individuals who are good at academics perform better in their future because of their participation in the sports activities.

However for the working individual it would be very difficult to manage their time efficiently because they spend their most of their time at workplace which makes them tired and burdened with the job responsibilities which leaves them with no energy at the end of the day.In order to

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You express a relevant opinion in the opening, saying hobbies help people “keep their mind relaxed,” and you begin to explain their value for children and young adults. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: the discussion of working people is unfinished, ending with “In order to,” and there is no completed discussion of retired people or a developed conclusion. The example about successful individuals and sports is also asserted rather than clearly explained. The required minimum length is not met, so there is not enough development to support your position or give reasons across the age groups. To improve, complete each part of the discussion, explain how hobbies benefit each group, and add specific examples before concluding clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an identifiable opening followed by a paragraph about children and young adults and a transition to working people. Phrases such as “To begin with” and “However” show an attempt to guide the reader. Nevertheless, the ideas are not arranged into a complete, coherent response: the final paragraph stops mid-sentence, and the essay has no conclusion or paragraph addressing retired people. Some links between claims are also unclear; for example, the connection between academic success and taking part in sports is not explained. Develop a clear sequence—introduction, one paragraph for each relevant group or a logical grouping, and conclusion—and use linking expressions to show the relationship between each reason and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “theoretical knowledge,” “extra curricular activities,” “burdened,” and “job responsibilities.” These choices help communicate the general ideas, and the meaning is usually recoverable. However, the range is not yet flexible: “time,” “activities,” and “individual” recur, while several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, such as “benefits in the future” and “participate in the sports activities.” Spelling errors, including “tution,” “effecient,” and “succesful,” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of natural collocations for hobbies and wellbeing, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would make your reasons clearer and less repetitive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a relative clause in “which makes them stressed” and a reason clause beginning “because.” The main ideas can generally be understood, but control is uneven. For example, “every age group … to have one hobby as it allows them” shifts from singular “group” to plural “them,” and “children and young adults spend most of their time … which makes them stressed” has an unclear reference for “which.” There are also sentence-boundary and punctuation problems, particularly the run-on ending “day.In order to,” as well as inconsistent capitalisation after full stops. Practise checking agreement, pronoun references, and sentence boundaries, while completing complex sentences rather than leaving them unfinished.

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