Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued by some people that eveyone including kids ,youngsters ,workaholics and retired people should have a hobby. According to my poiont of view, this is neccessry to have atleast one hobby for enjpoying with yourself.

There are many reasons why I think that hobbies are imporant in everyones life. First and foremost reason is that it helps to reduce stress. For examample, If onecan have interest in doing something like reading, listening to music,dancing and all, then they can release their stress and get some time for themselves. Due to this, they can work with more focus and with peaceful mind. Moreover, children feel bored when they do study all the time, but by getting some time for their hobbies ,they can feel better as well as they can choose their career in this.

Furthermore, old people, who are retired from their jobs, they are free and they do not have much things to do, they should choose one hobby and start working on it, because of this ,they can feel happiness and spend their time by doing something for themselves. For instance, in many countries, old women who are unable to do work because of their health issues, but they like to knit something for their loved ones. They can do this by sitting, owing to this, they spend their free time with doing something.

Overall, I beleive that it is very crucial to have hobbies for everyone, so that people can spend their free time and reduce their stress by working on their hobbies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that people at every life stage should have a hobby, and you give relevant reasons, including stress relief, children’s enjoyment and older people’s use of free time. The examples of reading, music and knitting help make the discussion concrete. This addresses the task, but the reasons are not developed equally. The point that children might choose a career through a hobby is introduced but not explained, and the discussion of working people is mostly implied through stress and focus rather than explored directly. To strengthen the response, explain how hobbies benefit working adults and extend one or two examples with a clearer cause-and-effect link or a specific personal observation. Your conclusion restates your view appropriately, though it adds little beyond the earlier points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs organised around benefits for different groups, and a concluding opinion. Linking phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Moreover,” “Furthermore” and “Overall” make the progression easy to follow. However, the connections sometimes feel mechanical, and some references are unclear. For example, “Due to this” and “because of this” do not always point to a precise preceding idea, while the sentence about retired people repeats the idea of spending free time. The example about older women also begins with “For instance” but is not smoothly connected to the preceding sentence. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each sentence’s relationship to the previous one explicit; clearer topic sentences and tighter links would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “reduce stress,” “focus,” “career” and “health issues.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “peaceful mind” and “knit something for their loved ones.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word choices are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “eveyone,” “poiont of view,” “neccessry,” “enjpoying” and “imporant.” Some phrases are also awkward, such as “enjoying with yourself” and “spend their free time with doing something.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations as complete phrases, rather than translating expressions word by word. This will make your ideas sound more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “when,” “because” and “who,” and most of the main ideas remain understandable. Some sentence patterns are not controlled, however. For example, “old people, who are retired from their jobs, they are free” repeats the subject, and “in many countries, old women … but they like to knit” is an incomplete construction. There are also errors in agreement and sentence formation, as in “it helps” after the plural subject “hobbies,” and “they do not have much things to do.” Review subject–verb agreement, countable and uncountable nouns, and how to join contrasting clauses. Aim to make each sentence grammatically complete before adding extra clauses; this will improve accuracy while preserving your attempts at variety.

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