Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is a debatable issue that everyone should have a hobby beyond their age limit . i agree with the notion because it help to keep mind busy and provide extra skill in a life .
commencing with benefits of having hobby in children and young adult plays an important role because it enhance their concentration , IQ, which help them in their studies as well apperntly it effects positivily in their life . Adding more to it, having a hobby could help in their carrier . For example, football player renaldo used to play a football in their childhood and later in life he become a well renowend player in whole world .
As per my perspective , having a hobby can provide company to a person they feel alone in life specially after getting retire from work people usually have nothing to do in that time if they have hobby they can use that and entertain their self instead of getting depressed or felling bored from life . Moreover, it can help a person to start their business as if someone used to do knitting since childhood they can start small business of woollen clothes in their young adult life .
in conclusion, having hobby can provide variouse advantages to a human being.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
Your position is clear: you agree that people of different ages benefit from having a hobby. You give relevant reasons, including improved concentration for young people, companionship after retirement, and the possibility of turning knitting into a business. However, these points are only partly developed: the football example is brief, and the benefits for working people are not specifically explained. The conclusion also repeats the general claim rather than drawing together your reasons. The response is 215 words, so it does not meet the 250-word minimum; this limits how fully you can explain and support your ideas. Develop each age group with a clear explanation and a specific example to address the task more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs also group related ideas, moving from younger people to retirees and practical benefits. Linking expressions such as “For example,” “Moreover” and “in conclusion” help signal relationships between points. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes abrupt: the discussion moves from concentration to career prospects without explaining the connection, and the knitting example is added without much development. Some transitions, including “commencing with” and “As per my perspective,” sound mechanical or do not clearly guide the reader. Use simpler, more precise links and make each paragraph develop one main idea in a logical sequence.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “concentration,” “company,” “depressed,” “business” and “entertain.” These choices allow the reader to understand your main points about hobbies and wellbeing. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “beyond their age limit,” “provide company to a person” and “effects positively.” Spelling errors, including “apperntly,” “positivily” and “renowend,” also reduce accuracy and can distract the reader. Aim for more natural topic-specific phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, you could describe hobbies as “providing companionship” or say they “have a positive effect” on concentration.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons and examples, such as the sentence beginning “if they have hobby they can use that.” This shows an effort to connect ideas rather than relying only on short sentences. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence boundaries occur frequently enough to make some passages difficult to follow. Examples include “it help to keep mind busy,” “it enhance their concentration,” and “he become a well renowend player.” There are also punctuation and spacing problems, particularly around commas and full stops. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and article use, then divide long sentences into clearer units.
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