Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Hobby is most demanding thing in life,which lead us. even if you are children, adult. job holder or a retired person. People can have many differents type of hobbies. Hobbies motivate everyone. there are lost of differents here. lots of example is here to discuss. in the essay i elastrulate why everyone should have at least a hobbey.

In the beginning, i want give the opinion on, children hobbey and why its important to them for futhure career development.

Children easily unfocus to anythings they usually do in regular life. they are mostly busy with their study, test, assignment,exam. and its kill their interest on education. however if they have a hobbey to play in the field or gardening . this could be a gamechanger for improving their concentration.

As well as a young adult or working people also feel some great relax & well focused to their job. Hobbey helps them the self satisfaction of life and peace of mind.

In this matter my opinion is clear, an i always belave that ,everyone must have atleast on hobbey otherwise their life will be lost the interest to alive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear general opinion that people of all ages should have a hobby, and you offer relevant reasons, such as improving children’s concentration and helping adults feel relaxed and satisfied. However, the response addresses the task only partially: the benefits are asserted rather than explained with specific examples, and the retired are not discussed. The conclusion repeats your view but does not add support. The response is 189 words, below the required 250, so there is not enough development to fully answer the prompt. To strengthen the response, explain how hobbies benefit each age group and include a concrete example, then develop your reasons before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: an opening, a paragraph about children and adults, and a concluding statement. The ideas are generally related to the topic, and phrases such as “In the beginning” and “As well as” attempt to guide the reader. However, progression is limited: the introduction promises several examples, but these are not clearly presented, and the retired group is omitted. Some links are inaccurate or unclear, including “In this matter,” while the abrupt shift from children to young adults makes the discussion feel compressed. Build a clearer sequence by giving each age group or main benefit a developed point, using linking phrases only where they show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “concentration,” “self satisfaction,” and “peace of mind,” which helps communicate the benefits of hobbies. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make parts difficult to understand: “differents type,” “lost of differents,” “elastrulate,” and “hobbey.” Phrases such as “Hobby is most demanding thing in life” and “interest to alive” are also unnatural or unclear. These errors fit a limited but minimally adequate range: the reader can usually identify your meaning, but must sometimes work to do so. Learn accurate topic phrases such as “pursue a hobby” and “provide a sense of fulfilment,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer structures, for example, “even if you are children, adult, job holder or a retired person” and the sentence beginning “however if they have a hobbey.” However, sentence control is weak: several fragments lack a complete main clause, and errors in articles, agreement, verb forms, and punctuation occur frequently. Examples include “Hobby is most demanding thing,” “lots of example is here,” and “everyone must have atleast on hobbey.” The final sentence, “their life will be lost the interest to alive,” also has a faulty structure that obscures the intended meaning. Use complete subject–verb sentences first, then practise joining them with accurate subordinate clauses. Check articles, plural forms, and sentence boundaries during proofreading.

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