Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Hobbies are plays essential role in everyone's life. It is very important for for children, youngsters and people who are working and retired to carry at least one hobby. In this eassy i will discuss how important and give my opinion.

To begin with, hobbies give more relexation, if carry with interest. Children should make interest in creativity, in that way they have sharp mind to do and create new things. Nowadays, young adults like to play with video games, they do not show interest with anything.

Moreover, working people are more like to pursue hobby in reading books they want to spend time with these activites. Retired people

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You express a relevant view that hobbies are important and begin to consider children, young adults, working people and retirees. However, the response only partially addresses the task: the reasons are brief, examples are not developed, and the discussion stops at “Retired people” without explaining their situation or completing your opinion. The opening promises to discuss the issue, but your position is not clearly restated or supported across the response. The required minimum length is not met, which leaves major parts of the task unanswered. To strengthen this response, state your opinion directly, explain a distinct benefit for each group, and support your points with specific examples before adding a clear conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction is followed by points introduced with “To begin with” and “Moreover.” These markers help signal a sequence, and the ideas generally relate to hobbies. However, the progression is incomplete because the final paragraph ends abruptly at “Retired people,” leaving the reader without a finished point or conclusion. Connections between claims are also limited; for example, the statement about young adults and video games is not clearly linked to the benefits of hobbies. Use separate, complete paragraphs for your main ideas, connect each example to the point it supports, and finish with a concluding sentence that restates your view.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “creativity,” “video games,” “pursue hobby,” and “activities,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts less clear, such as “more relexation,” “make interest in creativity,” and “carry with interest.” “Eassy” and “activites” also show inaccurate spelling. Aim to learn common combinations such as “take up a hobby,” “develop an interest in,” and “relaxation.” More precise vocabulary for benefits—such as stress relief, social connection, or mental stimulation—would help you explain your ideas rather than repeat general claims.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple sentences and a longer conditional structure, as in “hobbies give more relexation, if carry with interest.” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms, but the longer construction is incomplete and several basic grammatical patterns are inaccurate. For example, “Hobbies are plays essential role” has problems with the verb and article, while “It is very important for for children” repeats a preposition. In “they have sharp mind,” the article and plural form are not controlled. These errors sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. Practise complete clauses, subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence punctuation, then check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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