Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this era, everyone is busy in there jobs, studies and health, they need to give time to their personal things like give more time to their hobbies, i totally agree with this term. I will explain more about my opinion with including relevant examples in further paragraphs.

To began with, It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby because if they spend all time in other things they getting tired and frusterated in there life. They need to give atleast one day in a week to balance with there daily chores. Starting with childrens, if they all spend there time in there studies or watching mobile and television, there minds are getting stuck in it, they are getting in stress and deperssion, it is putt negative effect on there health. To support my point, i have great example, according to the research by doctors in 2019, 77percent childrens are getting health and brain problems only because they are spend lot of time on smart phones instead of giving time on there hobbies.

To elaborate, if i talk about young adults, working people and the retired elders they also need to give proper time to there hobbies because it relax there mind and help them to inhance there skills to there jobs and for retired people it helps to stay active and energetic always.

To conclude with, its crucial for everyone atleast one hobby to improve there overall growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that people of all ages should have a hobby, and you give relevant reasons, including relaxation, children’s wellbeing, and staying active in retirement. The example about children spending too much time on phones supports your point, but the claim about “77percent” is not explained or connected to a specific source, so it is less convincing. The discussion of young adults, workers, and retired people is brief and would benefit from separate, concrete examples. The conclusion also repeats the opinion without adding much. The response contains 231 words, so it is 19 words below the 250-word minimum; the 18 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Develop the less-supported groups and explain examples more fully to address the task more completely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ideas generally move from children to adults and then to retired people, and signposts such as “To begin with” and “To conclude” help readers follow the argument. However, some linking is mechanical, and the second body paragraph combines three groups in one sentence, making the progression feel compressed. The opening sentence also joins several ideas with commas, while “I will explain more about my opinion” announces the essay rather than advancing it. Use clearer topic sentences and give each main reason a logical sequence of explanation and example. More precise referencing would also help readers see how each example supports the central opinion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “hobbies,” “daily chores,” “stress,” “health,” and “stay active.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “overall growth” and “negative effect.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors distract the reader, including “frusterated,” “deperssion,” “inhance,” and “childrens.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “balance with there daily chores” and “improve there overall growth.” Aim for accurate collocations and a wider range of precise terms for the benefits of hobbies, such as wellbeing, personal development, and stress relief. Proofreading spelling and choosing natural word combinations would make your meaning clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional idea beginning “if they spend all time…” and a sentence explaining how hobbies help different age groups. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries occur frequently enough to make parts difficult to read. For example, “they getting tired” needs a finite verb, and “it relax there mind and help them” has agreement and pronoun problems. The opening sentence is also a comma splice, joining independent ideas without suitable punctuation or a conjunction. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, then check subject–verb agreement and verb forms. Greater control of these patterns would improve clarity.

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