Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic:

In many countries, family members work together in their family business.

Do you think family businesses have more advantages than disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Undoubtedly, crime is at its peak among the younger generation. There are several causes for this which i will be discussed in the following paragraphs. However, there are several suggestions for this which can easily undermine these problems.

One of the major reason is that the unemployment among the young people. As authorities do not provide much job opportunities for the teenagers, they are more intend towards illegal activities for their livelihood. For example, young people encounter heavy competion when it comes to finding job so that is why they engage in crimes for their survival. Secondly, loneliness can be the cause for this. Most of the parents led a sendentary lifestyle such as, spending too many hours watching television and many others too. if pupils avail less quality time with their near and dear ones, nobody is there to guide and superwise them. Obviously. they find it hard to take wise decisions. As a result, younger generation esaily get resort to crimes due to the less surveillance from their parents.

First and foremost solution is that goverment should try to give more job facilities to everyone. Getting facilities such as insurace, family trips and such on along with handsome money easily motivate them to enroll in new job postings. another solutions is that most of the parents should try to give more priority to work-life balance. By implementing this way, they can easily have more conversations among themselves. Therefore, teeneagers do not feel stressed.

In conclusion, increasing crime rates cannot be stopped due to the lack of job opportuinitiesamong the the pupils and, being alone is also one of the reason. But, it could be prevented by providing more jobs to them and, parents should give more priority to their family while spending time with them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 2.0

The student has written an essay that completely misses the prompt. The writing discusses the causes of and solutions to crime among the younger generation, whereas the task specifically asks about the advantages and disadvantages of family members working together in a family business. Because the response is entirely off-topic and addresses a completely different prompt, it falls under the lowest descriptors for Task Achievement. The ideas developed relate to unemployment and parental neglect rather than commercial enterprises or family dynamics in business settings. Consequently, the task response is fundamentally flawed regarding content relevance. Despite meeting the word count requirement, the complete failure to engage with the actual prompt dictates a very low score for this criterion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Despite the severe off-topic content, the essay demonstrates a basic structure with clear paragraphing, including an introduction, body paragraphs addressing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. The writer attempts to sequence ideas using cohesive devices such as 'One of the major reason', 'Secondly', and 'First and foremost solution'. However, referencing is frequently faulty, and the logical progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and weak cohesive links. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to divide the introduction, body points, and conclusion, but the overall organization suffers from mechanical transitions and a lack of sophisticated discourse markers. Cohesion is sometimes inaccurate, resulting in a somewhat disjointed flow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The student displays a limited vocabulary range that is repetitive and prone to noticeable errors. Words and phrases such as 'sendentary', 'superwise', 'esaily', and 'goverment' highlight issues with spelling and basic word formation. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'surveillance', 'unemployment', and 'work-life balance', inaccuracies in word choice and collocation are frequent. For instance, phrases like 'more intend towards' and 'give more job facilities' demonstrate restricted lexical flexibility. These errors do occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader, but the vocabulary remains minimally adequate to express basic ideas about the unrelated topic chosen by the writer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing exhibits a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences alongside poorly controlled complex forms. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the unemployment among the young people... are', 'goverment should try'), incorrect auxiliary usage ('i will be discussed'), and faulty prepositional phrases ('intend towards'). Punctuation is also problematic in places, with stray capitalization and misplaced periods interrupting sentence flow. While some sentences are comprehensible, the high frequency of grammatical and mechanical errors means that error-free sentences are the exception rather than the majority, causing noticeable difficulty for the reader.

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