Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic:

In many countries, family members work together in their family business.

Do you think family businesses have more advantages than disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, family members work together in their family business is becoming increasingly common. Although this trend has certain drawback, such as increse business worldwide and causes stress in our life. I believe that its advantage outweigh its disadvantage. Thsi essay will discuss both side.

The main advantage of family person work in their family business is that to increase business worldwide. This is because more higher production in expoart in our business produts in other country, which help people to can improve more sale in our products we business grow every day. For example, family person complete university education he is not finding any job we start own business or help family business. Another important advantage is that to we connect more company all over the word, thereby he person improve make life easier and improve knowledge.

However, this trend also some has disadvantage. One major concern causes stress in our life is that to, because he not habit another job and improve communication skill future the company has down but he is not have any experience other work. This can lead to affects health and creates some problem in our life. addmitionally, it may not finding job another company because he no have experience, particularly when future company reduce sale he is not secure our business. Nevertheless, these problem can be reduce he some help in own family business and finding new job for our future.

In conclusion, although amily members work together in their family business has same advantage such as not improve communicaton and causes stress in our life. I believe that its disadvantage, particular increase business worldwide and more higher sale in our business production, or more significant. Therefore family member can help in our family business and finding same job part time for future life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position—“its advantage outweigh its disadvantage”—and attempt to discuss both sides, with points about business growth and stress or difficulty finding other work. However, the response only minimally answers the question because the reasons are often unclear or not convincingly connected to whether family businesses have more advantages. For example, “increase business worldwide” and “connect more company” are asserted without explaining how family members working together produce these outcomes. The disadvantage about limited experience outside the family business is more relevant, but its consequences are difficult to follow. The conclusion also contradicts itself, calling the disadvantages more significant after initially favouring the advantages. Develop a consistent position and explain each main point with a clear cause, consequence, and relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable essay shape, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. You also use basic signposts such as “For example,” “However,” and “In conclusion,” which help indicate the intended structure. However, there is no clear overall progression because ideas within paragraphs are often difficult to connect, and the conclusion does not follow the position stated in the introduction. Linking phrases sometimes introduce unclear relationships: “thereby” is followed by several loosely connected claims, while “Nevertheless” does not clearly resolve the preceding point. Pronouns such as “he” and “it” also make references uncertain. Organise each body paragraph around one clearly stated idea, then explain it in sequence; use fewer, more precise connectors and ensure the conclusion matches your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “family business,” “production,” “communication skill,” “experience,” and “sale,” and you attempt phrases such as “all over the word” to express a broad business reach. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling errors strain the reader. Examples include “more higher production,” “business produts,” “increse,” and “not finding job.” Some phrases, such as “increase business worldwide,” are too vague to communicate the intended point precisely. Build a small set of accurate expressions for discussing business growth, employment, and risks, and check spelling and word forms. For instance, use “expand into international markets” rather than “increase business worldwide,” and “sales” rather than “sale” when referring to overall revenue.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer structures, including a concession beginning “Although” and a result clause with “thereby,” as well as simpler statements such as “This can lead to affects health.” However, the range remains very limited, and frequent errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation often distort meaning. For example, “family members work together … is becoming” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “I believe that its advantage outweigh its disadvantage” does not form a correct verb pattern. Several sentences combine clauses without a clear grammatical relationship, making the intended meaning hard to recover. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and that verbs agree with their subjects.

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