Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people spends a lot of money on their wellness and buy several things for health related treatments. In market, there are lot of products available claims that help them to look younger. I largely agreed with its a good thing you spend for your well being.

To begin with, as we living in digital era and everything on just one clickaway. So many businesses introduces different products which help a lot for people in fitness. They advertise products in a way that attracts buyer for purchase. Nowadays people are more health conscious and pay attention in their diet plan and do exercise regularly. Reason behind purchasing many products is that people try to find best one product and probably use different products for different things. For example, if we talk about skincare there a range of products available both physically and online. Such as facewash, mouth wash, sun screen etc.

Moreover, buying a lot of products depend upon buying capacity of people like if we talk about United Kingdom females spend a lot of money in buying health care related products, and in United States people buy product related to wellness. Likewise, creatine, mass gainer and lot of beauty products which help them to look younger. For instance, it is observed that people of age 30 to 45 are more curious about looking young and this trend seen in both male and female. People have set a bench mark that if he spend a money on buying products related to healthcare then he will be look young and they follow a strict rules in diet and exercise as well.

In conclusion, buying a products or pay for treatment like surgeries to look younger is a good thing. Many people do this and maintained a balanced diet as well as proper exercise and good sleep cycle and regularly cardio exercise help them a lot in looking younger.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is that spending on products and treatments to look younger is a good thing, and this is stated in the introduction and repeated in the conclusion. You also give relevant examples, including skincare products, supplements and exercise. However, the response only partly answers the question because much of the discussion shifts to general health and fitness rather than explaining whether appearance-focused products or treatments are beneficial or harmful. The reasons are also under-developed: for example, you mention that people have different buying capacities, but do not explain how this supports your view. Develop two clear reasons, such as improved confidence or potential health risks, and support each with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraph openings such as “To begin with” and “Moreover” help signal the stages of your argument, and examples are generally placed near the relevant points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from digital access to advertising, health-consciousness and skincare without showing how each point supports the main position. Some linking is mechanical, and references such as “this trend” and “they” are not always precise. Organise each body paragraph around one main reason, then explain it and give a directly connected example. This would make the overall argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “health conscious,” “skincare,” “creatine,” “mass gainer” and “balanced diet,” so the reader can understand the general subject. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “buying capacity” and “strict rules in diet and exercise.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, as in “products available claims,” “spend for your well being” and repeated uses of “products” and “look younger.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Aim for more precise phrases that distinguish cosmetic treatments from general wellness, and check spelling and word forms, including “benchmark,” “face wash” and “sunscreen.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “which” and “if,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors are frequent, and some longer sentences are difficult to follow. Examples include “Many people spends,” “as we living,” and “people have set a bench mark that if he spend … then he will be look young,” which show problems with agreement, verb forms and clause construction. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “a lot of products” and “buying a products.” Use shorter, complete sentences when expressing complex ideas, and check subject–verb agreement, verb patterns and articles. More accurate control of these basics would make your argument clearer.

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