Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In these days, everybody wants to look young to maintain this people spend lots of money on treatments and products. however, I strongly believe that ageing is part of life. age gracefully means alot to me I perfer health over beauty.

First of all, in this advance century dermatologiest doctors become more valueable than other doctors because they now have many advance machines to treat people problems in no time. As we see everyone wants a quick solution of their skin related problems and the main concern nowadays is looking young, To achieve this goal people visits to dermatologiest more often for different procedure and for skin care. But I must say that these treatments are very costly.

furthermore, I would argue that these treatments are wast of money. you look young when you continoulsy perform these procedure as long as you stop doing these things you again look older so its just wast of time and money. On the other hand, if you focus on your health its more beneficial for example one of my friends mother diagnoes with low vitamin D level and her face was full with melasma she did lots of procedures on her face but could not find relief from melasma in the end did blood work and find that her vitamin D levels are so low so she take medication.

In conclusion, its just waste of money. you can not stop ageing its a natural phenomena so enjoy ageing happily and instead of beauty focus on your health. its more important to stay active than looking young

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider anti-ageing treatments a poor use of money and argue that health matters more than appearance. You address both the popularity and cost of these treatments, and the example about your friend’s mother gives relevant support to your health-focused argument. However, some points are more fully addressed than others. The discussion of why people seek treatments is brief, and the claim that their effects disappear once people stop treatment would benefit from explanation or a specific example. The personal example is useful, but its connection to ageing and the value of appearance treatments could be made more explicit. Develop each main reason with clearer explanation to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “First of all” and “furthermore,” and a conclusion. The ideas generally progress from the popularity and cost of treatments to your view that health is more important. However, some connections are abrupt or unclear. For example, the transition from the cost of dermatological procedures to the claim that they are a waste of money needs a clearer link, and the friend’s mother’s medical story is not fully tied back to the main argument. Some linking phrases and sentence boundaries are also handled mechanically, including the shift beginning “On the other hand.” Use clearer links between each claim and its supporting example, and organise related points into complete sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “treatments,” “procedures,” “skin-related problems,” “melasma,” and “ageing.” These choices help communicate the subject and show some attempt to use specific terms. However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural word combinations are noticeable, such as “dermatologiest,” “advance machines,” “wast of money,” and “look young.” Some repetition of “young,” “treatments,” and “money” also limits the range. Aim for accurate collocations and a more varied way of expressing your central ideas; for instance, distinguish between cosmetic procedures and medical treatment, since the example about vitamin D concerns health rather than simply appearance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional idea in “as long as you stop doing these things you again look older” and a longer example about your friend’s mother. The main message is usually understandable, but sentence control is uneven. Some sentences join separate ideas without suitable punctuation, as in the opening, while others have errors in agreement and verb forms: “people visits” and “she take medication.” There are also problems with articles and sentence boundaries, such as “in this advance century” and the run-on conclusion beginning “its just waste of money.” Practise building accurate complex sentences, checking subject–verb agreement and verb tense, and using full stops and commas to separate complete thoughts.

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