Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern era, as humankind is getting far more developing in researching science field and specially in developing and repairing gense and genetics transformations; its is very comman that in present time the thing which look allmost impossibel in previous century are seemed easy to make it possibel like buying some products or doing treatments which make them look younger. I believe that as coin has two side this inovations also have both pros and cons which I would like to disuss in my further paragraph.

To begin with, the first and foremost thing is that now in this tech savy world the products in cosmetics industries has reach to their top level and further still doing deepdive on researching on different product which repair the damage cell and make person younger so as a result individuals are spending more and more on beauty products and for the people who want to look youner this is 'Boon'. Moreover they have also came up with the treatments like plastic surgeries which can change the skin colour and texture and it is very common in developed nations and because of this sucess ratio there is huge demand in marcket. For example, there is article by Ohio times in which the researcher said that out of ten native in Usa the three people are doing plastc surgery and five are using beauty products and most of the user is female.

On the other side, there are some negative side which is staying behind the stage. Likewise, excessive use of this product will turn in to 'curse' like give diseases like skin cancer and some differnet kind of allergies.

To conclude, My view is that hence there are some bad things but the positive side has more weighted.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view in the conclusion: although there are disadvantages, you believe the benefits outweigh them. The response also includes relevant points about cosmetic products, surgery, and possible health risks, with an example intended to support the benefits. However, the position is not fully clear in the introduction, where you say the innovations have “both pros and cons” without indicating which side you favour. The positive effects are described mainly as helping people look younger, while the negative side is only briefly mentioned through cancer and allergies; neither side is sufficiently explained. Develop the reasoning by explaining who benefits and why, and how the risks compare with those benefits, using a credible, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “On the other side,” and “To conclude” helps readers follow the main stages. This coherent arrangement meets the core expectations, and the ideas generally progress from the topic to a final judgement. To make the progression more effective, ensure each paragraph develops one main point with explanation and support; the disadvantages paragraph, for example, moves quickly from a general warning to two possible illnesses. Some linking phrases feel formulaic, and references such as “this product” are not always precise. Use fewer stock transitions and clearer links between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “cosmetics industries,” “plastic surgeries,” “skin cancer,” and “allergies,” and you use some less common expressions such as “excessive use.” This gives you enough language to communicate the general subject, but frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices make parts of the response difficult to read. Examples include “comman,” “impossibel,” “gense,” and “marcket”; “repair the damage cell” is also an unnatural phrase. Some expressions, such as “Boon” and “curse,” are understandable but informal and simplistic for this essay. Focus on accurate spelling and natural collocations, and choose more precise terms such as “anti-ageing products” or “adverse effects.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a contrastive opening (“as coin has two side”) and a cause-and-effect explanation beginning “because of this success ratio.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms frequently affect clarity. For example, “the products … has reach” has an agreement and verb-form problem, while “they have also came up” uses an incorrect verb form. The opening sentence is especially difficult to follow because several clauses are joined without clear grammatical control. Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses carefully. Check subject–verb agreement, past participles, and sentence boundaries during revision.

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