Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The trend of buying skin care products is growing. Now it is very common among people to spend a lot to buy products or to go for different skin care treatments that help them to look beautiful and younger.This essay will delineate that it is not a good thing and the reasons behind it.

First and foremost,there are many cosmetic and skin care companies which are selling a lot of their skin care products to people by using different attraction tools. People get inspire from them and spend their money on buying such things. Although some of the products are quite effective but their effects are not longer time. Moreover, they disturb the natural skin barrier and make it vulnerable to harsh environment.

In the second place, social media is playing a key role in this context. Many actors and actresses talk about these things and provoke people to go for it. They spend a lot for such treatments that are beneficial for them because it is a demand of their jobs due to their hectic routine. People follow them blindly without thinking either it will be suitable for them or not. Sometimes it had very bad effects.

To sum up all, it is essential to take care of your skin. Instead of spenidng a lot on buying prdoucts, focus should be on improvement of diet because it will have beneficial effects on skin and health. Healthy habits, proper sleep and taking care of basic hygene will have more long lasting effects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider spending on products and treatments to look younger a negative trend, and you give two relevant reasons—commercial influence and social-media pressure. The conclusion also offers an alternative, focusing on diet and healthy habits. These points address the question, but some are less fully developed than others. For example, you say products may damage the skin barrier and treatments can have “very bad effects,” but you do not explain what those effects might be or provide a specific example. The point about celebrities’ treatments being necessary for their jobs is relevant, yet its connection to ordinary people’s choices could be clearer. Develop each reason with a concrete example and explain how it supports your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons, and a conclusion restates your position and suggests alternatives. Sequencing phrases such as “First and foremost,” “In the second place,” and “To sum up” help readers follow the progression. This meets the lower-band expectation for coherent organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, the linking can feel formulaic, and some connections between ideas need to be made more explicit. For instance, the discussion of actors’ work routines moves quickly to people following them “blindly.” Use clearer transitions to explain that link, and vary your cohesive devices. Also separate sentences consistently, as the introduction runs directly into “This essay.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “skin care treatments,” “natural skin barrier,” “vulnerable,” and “beneficial effects.” These choices show an attempt to discuss health and appearance beyond very basic language. However, the range is limited by repeated use of general words such as “people,” “things,” and “effects,” and some expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, including “attraction tools,” “effects are not longer time,” and “hygene.” Spelling slips such as “spenidng” and “prdoucts” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, describe companies’ “marketing strategies” and say that benefits “do not last long” rather than using the less natural phrasing in the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a concession with “Although” and a relative clause in “treatments that are beneficial for them.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. Examples include “People get inspire” instead of a correctly formed passive, “it is a demand of their jobs” with an unclear grammatical relationship, and “Sometimes it had very bad effects,” where the tense and reference are uncertain. There are also punctuation and spacing problems, such as no space after commas and a missing space before “This essay.” Work on verb forms, tense consistency, and sentence boundaries, while continuing to use complex structures and checking that each clause has a clear subject and verb.

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