Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Due to advances in technology, it is easy for people to purchase different products or get cosmetic treatments which help them look younger than their age. This essay will discuss both its advantages and disadvantages along with my personal opinion.

Many people want to look young and aesthetic and restore their lost confidence by using cosmetic products like hair colouring shampoo and getting aesthetic treatment like hair transplant, rhinoplasty etc. Personally I believe that it is a good thing because in today's world people get old very quickly especially in developing countries because of low quality diet and lack of exercise.

Old look create a lot of stress both in personal and social life due to which people hesitate to communicate with people due to lack of confidence. They may also develop social phobia and inferiority complex. These products or treatment is a sigh of relief and a ray of hope to a large proportion of population which not only restore their confidence but also protect them from mental health problems.For instance, a study shows that those people who have done hair transplant gain thirty percent more confidence compared to their previous level of confidence.

Their are also certain disadvantages of these products like irritation, allergic reaction

along with their high costs. Surgical aesthetics procedure may have also complications if not properly done. In many countries many unauthorized and unqualified people have started these practices which causes harm than relieving their problem.

In conclusion,these treatments and products have both advantages like restoring confidence and prevention of psychological problems but cost and misuse is serious concern. Overall, benefits outweigh their disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You answer the question directly and maintain a clear view that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. The discussion is relevant: you explain how cosmetic products and treatments may restore confidence and reduce psychological distress, then acknowledge risks such as allergic reactions, cost and unsafe providers. The example about hair transplants also supports your main point. This meets the task well, while the range and development of ideas are not yet consistently strong enough for a higher level. In particular, the claim that people in developing countries age quickly because of diet and exercise is broad and not clearly connected to cosmetic treatments. Develop the disadvantages with a specific consequence or example, and explain more precisely how the benefits compare with the risks.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting the benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress in a sensible order, and linking expressions such as “Personally,” “For instance” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some connections between ideas need clearer explanation. For example, the move from wanting to look young to people ageing quickly in developing countries is abrupt, while the conclusion repeats the main points rather than drawing them together. There are also unclear references in phrases such as “their problem” and “these practices.” Use more precise referencing and vary transitions by showing the relationship between claims, causes and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including terms such as “cosmetic treatments,” “hair transplant,” “allergic reaction” and “psychological problems.” Some less common expressions, including “inferiority complex” and “unauthorized and unqualified,” show an attempt to be precise. However, several choices or combinations are unnatural or inaccurate, such as “look young and aesthetic,” “Old look,” and “a sigh of relief.” There are also spelling and word-form slips, including “Their are” and “aesthetics procedure.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but they reduce precision. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling and forms carefully; for example, use “aesthetic procedures” and “an older appearance.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses of reason and result, as in “due to which people hesitate to communicate.” The overall meaning is usually clear, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make sentences less smooth. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “Old look create” and “These products or treatment is,” and the incorrect construction “people hesitate to communicate with people due to lack of confidence.” Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “cost and misuse is serious concern” and the missing space after the full stop in “problems.For instance.” Review agreement, singular and plural forms, articles and punctuation, then proofread each sentence. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentence structures easier to follow.

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