Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowdays, there is a growing trend towards that prople spend a lot of money to buys expensive beauty products and for cosmetic treatments that help them to look younger then their age. Although thses products may have some benefits, I believe this is a negative developmenmt because it creates financial pressure and can affect people health.

To begin with, one of the major disadvantages is that thses products and treatements can be very expensive. Mnay individuals can spend a large amount od money to improve their appreance, even when they cannot afford it. For example, some citizens spend their all savings to buy expensive products and for surgeries. As a result, they mace face financial difficulties. Moreover, that is also a negative point that people got influenced by other people like celebrities but they did not get it that they can afford it. plastic surgeries is beneficial for actors to look good and they have enough money to spend on these things.

Furtheremore, another major concern is the risk of people's health. Some cosmectic treatments and beauty products may cause allergic reactions, infections or other health complications. For instance, people who undergo unnecessary cosmetic proceduare may experience unexpected side effects. Therefore, focusing too much on physical appreance can somtimes put people's health at risk. Last but not least, they lose their self confidence also. They constantly compare themselves with celebrities and they may feel insure about aging.

In conclusion, I believe that spending excessive money on products and tyreatments to look younger is a negative developmentbecause it can creates financial problems and negatively affects people's health, beauty is always inside .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the trend negative because it creates financial pressure and may harm health. Both reasons are relevant, and you support them with examples involving people spending their savings and possible side effects from cosmetic procedures. You also introduce a further consequence—reduced self-confidence—which shows awareness of the wider issue. This meets the task well, but the points are not equally developed: the celebrity comparison is difficult to follow, and the self-confidence point is added briefly without an example or explanation. To strengthen the response further, explain how these effects arise and connect each example more explicitly to your overall judgement. The conclusion restates your view, though its final claim about inner beauty is not fully integrated with the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two main body paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from financial costs to health and confidence is generally logical, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Moreover” and “Furtheremore” help show the intended relationships. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Moreover, that is also a negative point” does not clearly introduce the celebrity comparison, and the shift from health risks to self-confidence in the same paragraph feels abrupt. The reference to “they” in the final body paragraph could also be clearer. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each supporting point explicit; separating the confidence argument or linking it directly to appearance pressures would improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “cosmetic treatments,” “financial difficulties,” “allergic reactions,” “infections” and “side effects.” These choices make the main ideas understandable. However, the range and control are limited by repeated general terms such as “products,” “people” and “things,” as well as inaccurate or awkward expressions. “Spend their all savings” and “look younger then their age” are not natural collocations, while “they did not get it that they can afford it” makes the intended meaning difficult to identify. Spelling errors such as “appreance” and “cosmectic” also occur throughout. Build a bank of accurate topic-specific phrases and check spelling and collocation carefully so your vocabulary communicates ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although these products may have some benefits” and a reason clause beginning “because.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but control is limited and errors recur in sentence construction, agreement and verb forms. For example, “people spend a lot of money to buys” has an incorrect verb form, “plastic surgeries is beneficial” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “it can creates” uses the wrong form after a modal. Some sentences also combine ideas in ways that make their grammatical relationships unclear, particularly the sentence about celebrities and affordability. Practise accurate verb patterns, agreement and sentence boundaries, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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