Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Thesedays, people can purchase products or spend money to get those treatments which make them younger. Although there are some benefits of these treatments and products, I believe that it is a bad thing.

There are two main benefits of buying products to look younger. Firstly, it helps them to develop their personality or beauty. This is because personality had an important impact on eveyone's life. People feel more positive when they have good personality and attractive skin. This thing helps them to behave confidentally not only at the workplace but also in the society. Secondly, there are some jobs which give preference to young and good looking people. As a result, these products and treatments help people to maintain their position at the job or in getting new job. For example, it is really important to have a young look in some sectors such as Airhostess or film industry.

However, I think having treatments or products to look can have a negative impact on their body laterly. To expain this, these products gradually destroy the natural beauty. Sometimes, they may have side effects such as wrinkles, fatty body and loose skin when they do not suit to people or individuals do not take care peoperly. For example, taking protein powders to make bodies stronger cause obesity and menopause in girls. Another reason is wastage of money. To elaborate on this, there are many other ways to look young which do not have bad impacts on body. For example, doing yoga, meditation or exercise not only help to develop personality but also help people to stay healthy.

In conclusion, while there are some advantages of buying products to look young, I believe that people should not take risk with their health by having surgeries to look young when there are other methods available.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction—“I believe that it is a bad thing”—and is reaffirmed in the conclusion. You address both sides by giving benefits related to confidence and employment, then arguing that health risks and expense outweigh them. The examples about the film industry and exercise help make the discussion relevant. However, some points are less fully developed than others: the claim that appearance products help people “maintain their position at the job” needs explanation, and the health argument relies on broad claims about side effects without clarifying which treatments cause them. The conclusion focuses on surgery, although the discussion covers a wider range of products and treatments. Develop the supporting reasoning more precisely and keep the conclusion aligned with the full scope of your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits, a contrasting paragraph explaining drawbacks, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “However,” and “In conclusion” makes the progression easy to follow. This meets the lower-band expectations for coherent organisation and also shows some features of stronger cohesion. At times, though, the linking is mechanical, and references are not always clear. For example, “This thing” does not identify precisely which preceding idea it refers to, while “To expain this” introduces a claim without a clear explanation. Try connecting ideas through their meaning rather than relying mainly on formulaic transitions, and make pronouns and references explicit. This would make the argument flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss appearance, employment, health, and alternatives, including phrases such as “side effects,” “natural beauty,” and “maintain their position.” There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “protein powders” and “film industry.” However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less precise: “develop their personality or beauty,” “behave confidentally,” and “look can have a negative impact” are awkward or incomplete, while “eveyone's,” “peoperly,” and “laterly” are misspelled. Some terms, including “products” and “look young,” are repeated frequently. Build a more precise range of expressions for cosmetic treatments and their effects, and check spelling and natural word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although there are some benefits…” and a conditional clause in “when they do not suit to people.” Most of the argument remains understandable, and errors rarely prevent the reader from following your meaning. Some grammatical problems nevertheless affect clarity. For example, “having treatments or products to look can have” is missing a complement after “look,” and “doing yoga, meditation or exercise not only help” has a subject–verb agreement error. In “when they do not suit to people,” the preposition pattern is also incorrect. Review sentence completeness, agreement, and verb patterns, while continuing to use subordinate clauses to express cause and contrast accurately.

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