Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Innovations in science and technology have changed the world in which we live in and it is now possible to look younger because of research and development in medical field. If asked, I certainly believe that the concept of looking younger through artificial products is a negative thing. My inclination along with reasons and examples will be elaborated in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, although it is possible to look younger by using cosmetic products, these products also have many side effects, especially if they are not clinically tested. By this I mean, there are some products available in the market claming that they have anti-aging properties at a reasonable price. However, these products are niether safe to use, nor reliable. They are not clinically tested for such a claim and after a long exposure, they can cause skin infection or other problems, such as redness, pimples, itching and skin burns.

Moreover, advertisements also play a significant role to attract people to pay for expensive treatments to look younger. To illustrate, there are commercials everywhere regarding treatments that help you look younger. These treatments are very costly and can alter facial features through surgery. As a result, people often undergo to these treatments to look below their age or to look like someone they adore. Increasing racism and other discriminations among the communities also a driving factor.

To conclude the aforementioned discussion, it can be finally commented that it is indeed true that people are increasingly using anti-aging products and treatments for many reasons, such as cheap prices, advertisments and racial discrimination, however, accoding to me, investing in healthy diet and excercise would be the best approach to look young and fit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider appearance-enhancing products and treatments a negative development, and the conclusion restates this view while recommending diet and exercise. You give relevant reasons, including possible side effects and the influence of advertising, and the examples of skin irritation and costly surgery help explain your concerns. However, the discussion does not fully develop all aspects of the question. The point about discrimination is introduced briefly as “Increasing racism and other discriminations” but is not explained or connected clearly to the argument. The claim that people use products because of “cheap prices” also appears only in the conclusion. Develop these points with a clear explanation or example, and make the link between each reason and your overall judgement more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate concerns, and a conclusion summarises your position. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “To conclude” make the progression easy to follow, and the examples generally appear beside the points they support. Some linking is mechanical, however, and a few connections are unclear. For instance, the move from surgery to “Increasing racism and other discriminations” is abrupt, while the conclusion lists cheap prices, advertising and discrimination without having developed all of them in the body. To strengthen progression, organise each paragraph around one fully explained reason and use referencing or transitions that show precisely how the next sentence relates.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “anti-aging properties,” “clinically tested,” “side effects,” and “facial features.” These choices help communicate the main concerns, and you attempt some less common expressions such as “research and development” and “significant role.” At times, however, word choice and collocation are inaccurate or awkward, as in “undergo to these treatments,” “look below their age,” and “Increasing racism and other discriminations.” There are also spelling errors, including “claming,” “niether,” “advertisments,” and “accoding.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision. Check spelling carefully and learn common word partnerships so that your vocabulary sounds more natural and conveys your intended meaning clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “although it is possible to look younger…” and a relative clause in “treatments that help you look younger.” Most ideas remain understandable, and the longer sentences show an attempt to connect causes and results. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with sentence structure and verb patterns. For example, “Increasing racism and other discriminations among the communities also a driving factor” is missing a verb, and “people often undergo to these treatments” uses an incorrect construction. The opening also repeats “in which we live in,” and the final sentence has an awkwardly joined contrast. Review verb patterns, articles and sentence boundaries, then proofread complex sentences to ensure each clause is complete and correctly connected.

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