Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, facial treatments are beccoming an emerging trend. It is often argued that in order to look younger individuals pay for surgeries and purchase number of facial products. In my opinion, it has an adverse effect on our society and reasons for the same will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs.

One of the main reasons is that the facial or body treatments are too expensive and huge funds are require to undergone through these treatments. Secondly, these surgeries have a detrimental effect on human body. For instance, the treatments ususally consists of drugs and other artificial pills which change the hormone levels in the body. As a result, a risk of numerous diseases will arise.

Another main reason is the societal influence, people wants to look young just to get fit in the society. Influence of society change the narrative of an individual towards their body skin and color of their face. In markets, numerous brands promote their facial and makeup products and these products are advertised by famous artists which convince the individuals to buy these products. To illustrate, fair & lovely promotes their brand by advertising the actor using the facial produts. Consequently, people tend to buy these products because of celebrities are using these products to look young of their age.

However, there are other ways too to look young than the actual age. Instead of these harmful and expensive treatments or products, a clean and nutricious diet can help an individual to look younger. For example, household ingredients such as, tumeric, yogurt, milk, seeds can help people to achieve younger look naturally. Moreover, enough sleep and daily exercising can contribute to reduce the stress level and increase the life expectancy of cells in the body. As a result, a blood circulation will imrpove and skin looks younger than before.

To conclude, buying cosmetic products may results in harmful result, although with clean and green diet younger looks can achieve.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the trend harmful, and the body gives relevant reasons, including expense, possible health risks, and pressure from advertising and social expectations. The alternative of diet, sleep, and exercise also helps address the topic. This meets the task well, but the development is uneven: the health-risk claim is broad and would benefit from a specific, credible example, while the discussion of social influence repeats the idea that people want to fit in without fully explaining its consequences. The conclusion is also brief and does not clearly bring together your main reasons. More precise support and fuller development across the points would make the response more complete and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for reasons, a paragraph offering alternatives, and a conclusion. Sequencing is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “Secondly,” “For instance,” and “To illustrate” help show how examples relate to claims. However, some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “As a result” and “Consequently.” Connections between sentences are occasionally unclear: the transition beginning “However” introduces alternatives rather than a contrasting view, and the final paragraph does not clearly connect those alternatives back to the stated position. Use a wider range of natural transitions and clearer references to earlier points to make progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “detrimental effect,” “societal influence,” “hormone levels,” and “life expectancy.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond basic language, and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “facial produts,” “younger look,” “look young of their age,” and “clean and green diet”; several phrases do not sound natural in context. Spelling errors such as “beccoming,” “ususally,” and “imrpove” also reduce control. Aim for precise, natural combinations and check spelling carefully, especially in key claims and examples.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including cause-and-effect structures such as “As a result” and a contrastive clause beginning “Instead of these harmful and expensive treatments.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “huge funds are require” and “people wants” have agreement or verb-form problems, while “a clean and nutricious diet can help an individual to look younger” is followed by the incomplete construction “younger looks can achieve.” The sentence about celebrities also has an unclear grammatical structure. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete clause formation, then proofread complex sentences to ensure each has a clear subject and verb.

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