Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Looking younger is considered to elevate the status of an individual in a society and for that many products are available along with treatments. In my opinion it has lots of disadvantages compared with benefits. Spending money to look young can burden an individual with an extra expense, and it also creates unnecessary competition in the society.

People should manage their finances wisely because of the inflation rate prices of basic necessities have increased a lot, general public is facing difficulties to manage rent, groceries and utility bills. Spending on products and treatment can add an extra burden on them. For instance, a person who earns only 5000 dollars per month and has to pay a rent of about 2000 dollars, he would not be able to provide for his family, if he spends his income on products and treatments just to look younger.

General public competes with each other to look younger due to jealousy and insecurity among them. It creates an atmosphere where people starts hating each other and it is found very common among friends. Influence of social media on people can impact the thinking of an individual, beauty products companies are continuously market their product to target the general public. For instance, cosmetic companies hire celebrities to promote their product, since people follow these celebrities they start using these products. Moreover, which create a competition among individuals to look young.

In conclusion, people using products or treatments to look younger has lots of disadvantages compared with advantages. Managing finances and good relation between individuals should be the priority of people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the disadvantages of appearance-enhancing products and treatments to outweigh their benefits. Both main reasons—financial pressure and competition driven by insecurity—are relevant, and the examples about rent and celebrity advertising help illustrate them. This fully covers the task at a basic level, while the clear stance and relevant support show some qualities beyond a straightforward response. However, the financial example is somewhat narrow, and the claim that competition makes people hate one another is asserted rather than explained. You could develop the argument further by acknowledging a possible benefit, such as improved confidence, and explaining why the disadvantages still outweigh it. This would make the comparison more balanced and the ideas more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. The examples are generally placed with the relevant points, and transitions such as “For instance” and “Moreover” help signal relationships. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The sentence beginning “Moreover, which create a competition” is not a complete sentence and does not connect smoothly to the preceding point. The second body paragraph also moves from jealousy to social media and then advertising without fully explaining the links between these ideas. Use clearer referencing and develop each paragraph around a more explicit sequence: claim, explanation, and example. This would make progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “inflation rate,” “basic necessities,” “insecurity,” and “promote,” and the reader can understand your main points. There are also attempts to use more specific language about finances and social influence. However, some word choices and collocations are awkward or repetitive, such as “look young,” “extra burden,” and “beauty products companies are continuously market their product.” “General public” is repeated, and “status of an individual” is not clearly connected to the argument that follows. Choose more natural expressions and vary repeated terms—for example, refer to “appearance-enhancing treatments” or “cosmetic procedures.” Greater precision in describing the effects of social pressure would also strengthen the argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause with “because” and a conditional example beginning “if he spends his income.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main meaning is usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with subject–verb agreement, sentence boundaries, and clause construction. For example, “people starts hating” should be “people start hating,” while “beauty products companies are continuously market” has an incorrect verb form. The sentence beginning “Moreover, which create a competition” is also incomplete. In the rent example, the long sentence would be clearer if divided or restructured. Review agreement and ensure each sentence has a complete main clause; this will improve accuracy while allowing you to retain complex structures.

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