Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern age where products and dermatologist clinics asist people to get younger are ubiquitous all over the world. I believe people nowadays receive a good benefits because of the accessiblities to buy and get a treament.

First, this civilization receive a lot of priveledge where science is crucial not just in the medicine field when we have some diseas or illness that need to be treat. whereas, people today can take a medicine for their external apperance to make themselves younger and looking good. Whether they take it orally like tablets, or they just put it to their certain part of the body.

Moreover, one of the things that make the product known is the price, most of the product are budget friendly which they can add it to their scheduled routine in a long period of time. For instance, Some people goes to salon every month, since any beauty treatment are unexpensive, they also include facials, and wax for their hairs in their armpit and private part etc. In addiution to this doing that kind of routine can pamper their mood to become well and positive.

Futhermore, When we talk about any products and treatments that can help anyone, that product is also accredited by the department of health where they can assure everyone that it is safe and helpful. So anything that they put to their skin, face, or body is good for them unless they will utilize it in a proper amount so they couldnot experience any harmful effect.

In conclusion, product and treatments gives positive impact to us and it is one of the facinating things in this present time where we are abundant to any technologies which people invented. nevertheless, it does not mean that you can use it freely and without a limit, all items they purchase for their body must apply correctly so that they would not experience bad effect.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider access to products and treatments that help people look younger to be beneficial, and the conclusion restates this view while adding a caution about proper use. You give relevant reasons, including improved appearance, affordability, and the possibility of feeling more positive. However, these points are not all developed equally. The salon example illustrates routine beauty care, but it does not clearly show how such treatments help people look younger. The claim that products are approved by health authorities and therefore safe also needs qualification or support. Explain the benefits and possible drawbacks more directly, and use examples that closely match the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First,” “Moreover,” and “Furthermore” make the progression easy to follow. However, some connections between ideas are loose: the discussion of salon visits, waxing, and mood does not clearly build on the point about affordable anti-ageing products. The opening is also a sentence fragment, which makes the initial connection between the modern age and the writer’s opinion less smooth. In places, linking expressions feel mechanical, and references such as “that product” are not always precise. Make each paragraph develop one clearly stated reason and use transitions that show the exact relationship between claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “dermatologist clinics,” “external appearance,” “beauty treatment,” and “harmful effect.” These choices help communicate your main ideas, and you attempt more specific language rather than relying only on basic terms. However, inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations are noticeable, as in “accessiblities,” “treament,” “unexpensive,” and “accredited by the department of health.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “get younger” and “wax for their hairs.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall argument, but they reduce precision. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations for cosmetic procedures, safety approval, and ageing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional clause in “unless they will utilize it in a proper amount” and a sentence beginning “Whether they take it orally.” However, control is uneven, and several sentence structures are faulty. The opening is a fragment, while “most of the product are budget friendly which they can add it” has problems with agreement and clause construction. There are also errors in verb forms and agreement, for example “people goes” and “product and treatments gives.” Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, particularly after full stops and around clauses. Aim first for complete, clearly structured sentences, then check subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb forms before adding more complex clauses.

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